Special Guest or Foolish Girl

And just like that - I learned exactly where I fit, "categorically speaking"! A facebook posting too hastily written with little thought to his friends putting him on blast. Maybe some means for approval from friends or the 'special guest'? (ahh technology!) And so I learned just what he felt I was worth. That makes someone else the Special Guest, and yes - I'm the Foolish Girl. I got played...do you want to know why I got played? I thought he was going to be different and be honest. Listen, at first he was on the level. He set the boundaries. Why not tell the truth?? Why bother with the whole I'm seeing you, but I may see other people?? If ultimately faced with the reality of the boundaries you drew in the sand and set forth you are going to lie?? Here I go...I gave the opportunity for him to ante up. Why didn't he? No - don't tell me this is all some big misunderstanding. Really??? He broke plans with me. My life can get complicated and quickly, it's not easy to make plans. So yeah, hell yeah I'm upset!

Yes, I am still trying to figure out exactly what it is that I want. I thought I wanted this, because it was trying on something different. Truth is at heart I really just want that one someone that I can date and see. No, no relatioship. I still want my freedom for my family and friends and myself. I laid down my boundaries. So, I played along, I tried the 'just the friend thing'. Who was I kidding? Still, it hurts more than I'm willing to admit. I liked him alot and for a moment I wanted it to go somewhere. Foolish girl for thinking that it sorta kinda was starting to...go somewhere. He is a true player, he pulled me in because he wanted to I didn't imagine all of it. Damn it! Why did I see more to him than he credits himself or maybe I just forged a connection, because I really wanted one?

You can't break my spirit or put out my fire!