Where to begin..

Dad,

I don’t even know where to begin, because there aren’t enough words to hold everything you are to me.

You are strength in its truest form, not just in what you’ve endured, but in how you’ve lived. An Army Ranger, a fighter, a man who has faced more than most ever will… and still, somehow, you’ve remained gentle, present, and full of life. You’ve carried the weight of so much - your health, your battles, your scars - and yet you still show up every single day as a loving husband, a devoted father, and the best papa anyone could ask for.

You are a rare kind of man. You can do anything, build, cook, write, lead, and you do it all with a quiet confidence that commands respect without ever demanding it. You walk into a room and change it, not because you try to, but because of who you are. And that laugh of yours… it’s one of my favorite sounds in the world.

You’ve always been there for me. Steady. Strong. Loving. You are the one I go to for everything; for advice, for truth, for clarity. You’ve never let me walk through this world blindly, and you’ve never let me settle for less than I deserve. You’ve protected me in ways I don’t even think you fully realize.

And maybe this is selfish… but I don’t want to imagine this life without you in it. I don’t want a world where I can’t call you, where I can’t hear your voice, where I don’t have you to go to when I need guidance or when life feels too heavy. You’re not just my dad, you are my foundation. You are my safe place.

I know you’re tired. I know you’ve been through more than most people could even imagine. And I know you don’t want more procedures, more hospitals, more fighting. But I need you to know how deeply you are loved. How much you matter, not just for everything you’ve done, but for who you are just by being here.

I don’t know what comes next, and that’s the hardest part. But what I do know is this: having you as my dad is one of the greatest blessings of my life. You have shaped me, protected me, and loved me in a way that I will carry forever.

You are the standard for every man in my life. No one compares. No one ever will.

I love you more than I could ever fully say… and I’m not ready to let you go.

But more than anything, I want whatever gives you peace, strength, and more time with us, because every moment with you is something I will never take for granted.

but because maybe…

What we give isn’t always reciprocated. And we tell ourselves that’s okay, because that’s just who we are. We are the givers; the sanctuaries, the warm hugs, the tenderness in a world full of cruelty. We are the warriors for the weak, the lyrics to the song a lost soul needed to hear.

We are not here to fill voids, we are here to make strangers feel seen and heard. We are the smile, the kindness for the downtrodden, the last glimmer of hope for those ready to let go.

Still, we cling to love with quiet ferocity. We press our faces to the glass, watching others fall into it; waiting, wishing, wanting, hoping, dreaming of the day when the love we give is freely given to us. We wait, and we wait, with the blind faith of a child.

But I won’t let this world change my heart. I won’t let my failures tear me apart. I will keep giving, not because I have to, but because I have it to give. Not because I expect it in return, but because maybe… loving others is the point.

My branches stopped growing, because my roots needed to grow deeper first. 

Non-negotiable

I’m not blind, and I’m definitely not stupid. I vet people on social media and I investigate like I work for the CIA or FBI, because people expose themselves without realizing it. What you think I can’t see, what you assume I don’t know… I already saw coming. Patterns are loud, and behavior is often predictable, especially if you know anything about psychology or how to read people, and I do. Also I feel energy and still have access to records research platforms.

If I can’t trust you in rooms I’m not in, including your social circle, then you definitely do not see me clearly. Don’t mistake my awareness for insecurity. I see exactly what you choose to show when you think I’m not paying attention.

So please don’t approach me after spending your time following and engaging with half-naked women, feeding into that constant stream of fantasy, and then expect me to take you seriously. I don’t care if they’re “just friends” or whatever excuse you attach to it. It shows me exactly where your attention is.

If chasing quick dopamine matters more than having some semblance of self-control, I already know everything I need to know. I give chances, but please don’t mistake it for tolerance. Once I’m done, I’m done. My cutoff game is sharp, it doesn’t miss, and you will feel it.

I don’t compete with other women, and damn sure not sleazy ones. I’m not a pitstop, and I’m not here to fill gaps in your attention. If that’s what you want, join the other dumbass men willing to suffer through these women that use them for money, validation and likes. 

This isn’t insecurity. These are my standards. This is self-respect. I have boundaries. I’m not competing with a feed, and I’m not entertaining half-ass divided attention. I don’t care what other men or other women say or do. 

So don’t even bother, because that isn’t respecting me, and I absolutely do not accept this behavior. I respect myself too much. 

I have been burned by that bullshit of they’re “just friends”. If you want a woman that is open to being disrespected and is okay with you jerking it to any chic willing to show her tits and ass, trust that I am not the one for you. 

This is non-negotiable for me. I value myself and my time. 

Pages laid bare

Your eyes speak your poetry,

please fill the pages laid bare

And I, before you

begging for the stroke of your pen 

Dip your ink in love 

and draw your name tenderly on my skin

Bouquet of Fire and Moonlight

I am more than a flower you can pick. 

I am a bouquet of beauty; the scent of desire, the fragile petal and graceful stem, alive with color. 

A quiet fire burns at my center, breathing life into an unforgettable garden. 

I stand tall in the sun, and in moonlight, I bloom.

Soft spoken, because silence has teeth marks when you’re biting back the truth.