Patience

I've avoided the topic of sex long enough. Let me just dive right in. I wanted to get a few other issues and thoughts out there first. A friend recently shared in the joy of having their first child. I guess you could say frustrations of a another sort prevail. Mommy just had a baby, so she is still a little hormonal, not feeling 100%, her body bearing the mark of having had a baby - she is recovering and this can be a long healing process. Adjusting to the needs of a newborn can be incredibly exhausting and add a lot of pressure to a relationship. Daddy shares in the responsibilities. He is supportive and has discovered a new 'fondness' or perhaps just a stirring of affections for Mommy. He is finding Mommy's returning glow and curves to be oh so inviting. Finding time and getting her in the mood - well, that doesn't come as easily. While they have had a few cherished moments since the newest addition to the family, my friend feels its just not enough.

We all have needs and for some of us our sex drive may be a bit higher. But is he asking for too much too soon? He says he tells her how beautiful she is, he respects and loves her but in his mind - he doesn't want to keep his hands off her. She is struggling to get that confidence and sexiness back that she needs to feel to have or want sex. Don't get me wrong. For men it seems a bit simpler, men are so aesthetic and women need connection. Having spontaneous unbridled passionate hot sex can be the kitty cat's meow...and I'll save that for another conversation. His question is geared toward needing advice on how to approach this rather sensitive subject without coming across selfish and uncaring. He wants her know that he also wants to meet her needs. All he can do is be patient. She is the object of his affection, but he genuinely feels slightly neglected. He understands and accepts a baby brings compromise and changes aspects of the relationship. But he really really really wants his wife. Keep your head up, keep telling her how beautiful and sexy she is - eventually the heat will return and get turned up and all will get back in sync. If the baby is napping, steal a moment. Romance her. Give her a backrub or a footrub. She will reward you. Who knows?? Just give it time. Try not to get frustrated. And if you're going to approach it, be gentle and kind and loving. She loves you and knows you have needs.