Falling from grace..

We are strong intelligent, independent, beautiful women. We take charge of our lives. We raise our kids. We care for our families. We make good conscious life changing decisions. We work and pay our bills. We're there for our friends. And we are the party.

Why is it when we find a guy, we put him on a pedestal, lose ourselves, make crazy irrational choices and then get walked on? We are fabulous women. We know what we want. We become consumed by the moment, romanticising amidst the lies and deceit and then get played? How do we fall from grace? Every other aspect of our life is well managed and carefully thought out. We become so wrapped up in the wrong guys. Sure at first we don't see it, even though it eventually it is quite apparent - we choose to look the other way or ignore it. We live with this idea of what we know they are capable of and the notion that that is what they will ultimately revert back to and fix all the wrongs and make it right. This isn't an imagined. It isn't silly. This isn't a self projection. This is based on their words and actions. At one time, this was how they presented themselves. We start to wonder if there's something wrong with us, because things start to go wrong. We begin to compromise our beliefs and try to accomodate their needs, forgeting our own. We lose sight of reality. Accepting the redundant apologies, always waiting.

But then somewhere along the way our eyes are opened. We begin to see things we wished we hadn't. At first, we beat ourselves up, angry that we allowed things to happen. But then theres a calm. Clarity at last! And yes, we take back control. We channel the pain. We use it to right the wrongs and begin to rebuild. Defiant and fierce we remember what we are worth and how undeserving they've been.

And just like that...I came to my senses. I walked away. I was in love with a man that only loved himself. All the details of my life came together. I realized this man isn't the poster child for all men. I knew I had just picked the wrong one and while I allowed myself to be manipulated - he was a bad man. I'm a better woman, not because of him - but because of me. I'm too strong to let it happen again. And I smile now when I think of how I pulled from strength I never knew I had. My friends and family that were there for me.

There are good men out there. There are good women out there. And everyday I see people coming together with the promise of happiness and hope.