Sometimes

Sometimes 

I feel everything

And it’s 

all just too much

I feel the world

weighing me down

I feel me

collapse

piece 

by piece 

in exhaustion 

My mind, my heart, my soul

I feel dead

I’m just a corpse

with a pulse 

walking around 

pretending 

like I have any idea

of what the hell

is going on

In a daze

pretending 

like I have the 

slightest clue

as to what 

to fix first

I am slipping away

I feel myself falling 

I am losing ground quickly 

I don’t know how 

to ask for help 

It’s different this time

I don’t know where

to start

I am dizzy

I am screaming inside

My chest is tight 

My eyes are damp

I keep licking my lips

I am thirsty 

I don’t know what the fuck to do

The minutes are

like hours

I just want to fall apart 

And I don’t know 

how to hold myself 

together anymore 

I have to get a fucking grip

I have to get away 

from myself

and pull myself 

together 

Wake up 

but be patient 

with yourself 

Love you

Fill your cup first 

Take a good look 

over because that’s 

one hell of a fall

Step away from the ledge 

And just breathe

drink some water

and grab your chapstick 

I have to talk to myself like 

I am a toddler 

trying to eat peas with a fork 

then picking them 

between my fingers instead 

The chaos is fixed

I can think through this

I just need to 

drown out all

the other noise

I digress and this is why I am here

Too many fucking thoughts all at once

I need my devils to either shush for a minute or shout something good

The way I can

I will

Remember who the fuck you ARE!!