Rambling on

 Speak softly and carry a big gun

You can’t be my devil anymore 

I can’t be your good deed

Awakened by the silence

Rebirth found in the ruins

When you say you want to feel something, be specific, because pain is something altogether different

I am busy being insane

And unreasonably paranoid

She loved like she lived, dangerously, with a bit of fear and a bit of hope.

Trouble, he was, and she was reckless with want.

Always giving chase 

For moments that stand still

Is it too much to ask to be your poetry

And 

The lust you crave when you wake

A trunk full of bodies and the ghosts that would haunt me

Last night I dreamt you kissed me, softly, passionately, in quiet places that now roar to feel your shameless lust

The narrative in my head and trying to write what I am feeling is too discombobulated

Intoxicated by the kisses from stars that shimmer like beating hearts.

We should stand here and bleed

Into the sky

And forests

Like the ripples in the ocean

Like ancient stories

Yet to be told

It is my river of thought that holds the most dangers for me to drown.

Give me fire and passion, urgency and the rawness of letting go so my soul is suspended in midair.

My demons surrender to my apathy too easily

Bisect into limbs, not parts

In the gardens by light of the moon

The air screamed or maybe it was me

Muscles aching I crawl to him from the tent into the chill evening air, starving like my ribs are breaking

Returning to a sleep of centuries, once my appetite is satiated

Silent revelations by the embers of a flickering campfire

Bedfellows of privilege 

Taste sweeter when earned

There are those, we don’t care what they do or say

We love them anyway

I wish I could bleed the words I feel, words never feel enough

I’ve cut myself a thousand times trying to collect the shattered pieces of my heart.

And still I cannot hate you

She is flesh and blood 

And a fool

He deprives me a sane existence 

His whispers of eating me alive with sinful kisses

I am left to confess my madness

Tracing the lines 

Carving pieces of me away

Like bone, ivory and jade 

Sinuous and undulating

A raw love

Unfettered of societal impositions and intrusion 

Honest, pure, deep

And illuminated by only the stars

To love

Is to lose yourself every day

And find your soul 

Without exception in every moment

Like any starving beast

You must feed your love

For yourself, to yourself 

then

For others

Sometimes I remember everything about you 

And I feel particularly stabby with a lil bit cleaver and hell of a lot of flamethrower

Maybe you were never you

And I was never me

If we can’t visit graveyards together, it’s never going to work

I don’t want to be calm anymore 

I am here to raise hell 

And be swept up furiously by the currents in the Rivers of Hades

Paper hearts stay suspended in the broken in-betweenness

Mutual fascination, mischief and sensuality

Over and over

I delicately wrap the ravaged bleeding beast 

In ribbons and bows

And place the exquisite toy in your hands

That moment just before the first wave of desire consumes you, where you stop breathing and everything else ceases to exist

Take me there

Which one of us wasn’t broken somewhere in between

On feathered wing I soar

From the shadows I reach

Like silence falling I sink

Whispers the wind

I’ll give you the knife to carve away the pain in my heart, and write your name with the love that drips from the blade

Tears of penance tumbling into the wishing well of hope

I wonder if I gave in to this constant need to crack open this cage and tear through the skin and be free to come and go as I please, would I?

And what of hope

I’m still crying over the death of my heart

Shattered illusions

I don’t give in to you, I surrender to you

Windmills and ghosts in my mind

Promises and other hollow creatures

I can cut you into pieces when my heart is, broken

A master of my feelings, words and poetry 

In an alternate universe

My fingers drag slowly 

The way your lips used to

And I sigh your name

Staying too long

Lingering in all the everything 

The mornings after you

Release me again

All these moments 

All these words

Standing on the edge

of my lips

Forgetting to fall

The distraction you want

Is blooming and becoming 

The distraction you need

Exquisite little deaths

Give them all to me