Friday, January 22, 2010

Timing

They say it's all about timing. Is it? Here I am, faced with a "relationship" dilemma. I'm finally free and at this point in my life I don't want a boyfriend. Mentally, I'm just not ready. Sometimes... what you want and what you think you want aren't always the same. So, I'm seeing this guy. He's great, funny, good-looking, responsible, great father, charming...but - he's a player. We have fun. He makes me laugh. I think he likes me. But he has this thing about him. I can't put my finger on it. I try to get past it, around it, try to figure it out, but he is skilled in making himself difficult to read. Underneath it all, I think he's was burned pretty badly. And isn't that how most of us end up guarded and tainted? Forever changing our perception of the opposite sex. Everyone has a story to tell. Betrayal. Abuse. Deceit. But then I look around and I see people that have that once in a lifetime relationship. It makes me sad, to wonder if I will ever feel that way again. And it gives me hope. I don't want to put unnecessary expectations on someone - because I'm confused. Maybe this will go somewhere...maybe it won't. Maybe it's just friends with benefits. Status quot is okay. Isn't it?

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