So...yeah, I'm definitely not sure what direction this is going, but it is going. Which is a good thing. I'm not thrilled nor comfortable at how little control I have, but then, he too lacks control - although he has been doing this dating thing much longer. I have no problem with admitting I like him more than I wanted. Though difficult to read, I do question how far he wants to take things... I did say to him that I wasn't seeing anyone else while I was seeing him. But if he is seeing other girls then well why shouldn't I also date other guys? They are asking, some quite persistently. Am I crazy or is it evident that his admission to dating means he has no real attachment to me? I wonder though, am I being fair to myself by agreeing to this? In truth, I've only ever been in relationships. Something that started simple but always became something greater -- only of course to fizzle and fail...so maybe I give it a try his way. Maybe I am less likely to get hurt. Perhaps it will yield better choices and results to ultimately someday find something truly meaningful.

Why then can I not embrace this? I guess a big part of me realizes he has been deeply hurt by someone he loved and trusted. So how can I say this without judging prematurely when in fact I have no right? Part of me lives and breathes by psychoanalyzing everything. And I so hope I am wrong. But I can't help but think that he is a player because he feels there isn't a woman out there he can trust or inpart faith. (outside of his family and friends) I know he is a good man. He has so many admirable qualities. Underneath his tough facade and behind that soaring wall he has built - he just wants someone to accept him as he is, someone that will love and cherish him and all that he finds important and someone that will be loyal. Yes, at times he is a little cocky and eagerly craves attention from all females (hopeless flirt - but who am I to talk?) His eyes wander in all directions when a lovely female may breeze by. Is he sincerely searching? Or is he just wanting an opportunity to lay down with as many as females he can? I sense insecurity and yet he can be so cool and confident that his charisma and charm draw everyone to him. Errr - now you see wherein lies some of the confusion.