https://youtu.be/HzNFwxsSPwU
Secret(s)
play
I laugh, it's really no laughing matter. Possibly nervous laughter, because I worried so much about something and I needn't not worry at all. It all makes sense now.
Trust, loyalty, respect. Sadly most people can not comprehend what those words mean. All I can tell you is, they're more than words.
I will caution you. Sneaking around can and will hurt more people than you can imagine. I'm not judging - this comes from a place of familiarity and a simple word of truth. I'm certain if you stop to think about things, you'll figure it out. Silly me, I thought there was something awful I had done or something someone had said to provoke such silence. Well - at least now I know why I've been given the cold shoulder. Secrets.
Secrets can be destructive. As we all know. We all keep secrets, whether they're our own personal secrets or someone else's. Holding onto secrets can be the undoing for some. Sadly, not being selective in whom you tell your secrets to, can be your own undoing.
I have trust issues. I have but a few secrets left. They're mostly secrets that only I know about. Most secrets I've ever shared with anyone - sadly, has been told or shared with someone else. (and then people close to me, wonder why I have trust issues) I have learned I simply can not trust anyone other than my kids. It's true. It's also sad. Not even my closest friends can keep a secret, not even my previous lovers.
Of course, there are dangers to keeping secrets. The saying goes, "You're only as sick as your secrets." What does that even mean? What do you do, when someone shares a secret with you and the magnitude of the fall out could be devastating? Especially if they feel compelled to confess, how does that work for the other person involved? It's tricky! Best think on your actions and if it's worth the price ultimately.
Secrets can create overwhelming guilt for some people. That guilt can become toxic and unhealthy. Revealing secrets is ostensibly in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has their own inner moral compass and what may seem horrific to one person, might not even measure as bad to another. I love asking people to tell me something no one else knows - everyone, EVERYONE says, "I don't have any secrets, my life is an open book." Quite often, I find everyone has secrets. We stuff them down so far, that we forget there are skeletons.
If someone comes to you, confides in you and asks you to not to tell anyone. And you agree... Then you are obligated to keep and maintain that promise. Don't let your loose lips share their secrets. They came to you because they trust you. Trust is the hardest thing in the world to give and the easiest thing to destroy. It kills me to hear people talking about LOYALTY, as if people understand what the word or the idea really means. And if someone shares something with you and it's too much to bear - tell that person you don't feel like you can keep that secret. Give them an opportunity to do something with the situation before you go running your mouth. Again TRUST.
Beware of those too eager to hear your secrets or the secrets of someone else. Trust. Secrecy, Privacy, Silence and Openness. Paradoxically - secrets have the power to both unite people and divide them. Make no mistake the power secrets have over us is beyond our understanding. Secrets can shatter lives. Sometimes it can bridge communication gaps in relationships.
Secrets are some of the reasons fueling our biggest fears of judgment. People's biggest fear is not death, but humiliation and judgment. Still we manage to feed this sickness. We keep secrets, we create secrets and then become terrified that someone may inevitably learn our secrets and judge us. Psychology is fascinating. It is natural for human nature to follow the root of emotion. It doesn't always mean it's the right choice. So we make a poor choice and then spend far too much time trying to cover everything up. Worried about hurting this person, or what they might think, or whatever it might be. Why do we fear judgment so much? Who cares what someone else thinks...? Maybe that someone is your kid. Maybe they've always looked up to you and held you in the highest respect and now they've learned you did something they think is disgustingly horrible. Their judgment has left you spinning. That's why we all stand in fear of being judged. We are so afraid that our secrets are going to be worse than those secrets kept by the people we care most for, and that they will stand in judgment of us.
Guess what - no one, and I do mean absolutely no one has the right to stand in judgment of someone else. We all want to give our opinions and share "brutal truths" guess what - who cares!!! Make how you see yourself the most important thing to you. Everything else is just chatter. Be the person that doesn't have to worry about what someone is going to think of your secrets. If someone loves you and trusts you enough to share intimate details of their life with you - keep them intimate. Trust, Loyalty and Respect are fundamental to healthy relationships. If you lack these, it's time to think about whether these are healthy relationships. Just sayin.
Secret(s)
play
adjective se·cret \ˈsē-krət\
Simple Definition of secret
: kept hidden from others
: known to only a few people
: keeping information hidden from others
Trust, loyalty, respect. Sadly most people can not comprehend what those words mean. All I can tell you is, they're more than words.
I will caution you. Sneaking around can and will hurt more people than you can imagine. I'm not judging - this comes from a place of familiarity and a simple word of truth. I'm certain if you stop to think about things, you'll figure it out. Silly me, I thought there was something awful I had done or something someone had said to provoke such silence. Well - at least now I know why I've been given the cold shoulder. Secrets.
Secrets can be destructive. As we all know. We all keep secrets, whether they're our own personal secrets or someone else's. Holding onto secrets can be the undoing for some. Sadly, not being selective in whom you tell your secrets to, can be your own undoing.
I have trust issues. I have but a few secrets left. They're mostly secrets that only I know about. Most secrets I've ever shared with anyone - sadly, has been told or shared with someone else. (and then people close to me, wonder why I have trust issues) I have learned I simply can not trust anyone other than my kids. It's true. It's also sad. Not even my closest friends can keep a secret, not even my previous lovers.
Of course, there are dangers to keeping secrets. The saying goes, "You're only as sick as your secrets." What does that even mean? What do you do, when someone shares a secret with you and the magnitude of the fall out could be devastating? Especially if they feel compelled to confess, how does that work for the other person involved? It's tricky! Best think on your actions and if it's worth the price ultimately.
Secrets can create overwhelming guilt for some people. That guilt can become toxic and unhealthy. Revealing secrets is ostensibly in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has their own inner moral compass and what may seem horrific to one person, might not even measure as bad to another. I love asking people to tell me something no one else knows - everyone, EVERYONE says, "I don't have any secrets, my life is an open book." Quite often, I find everyone has secrets. We stuff them down so far, that we forget there are skeletons.
If someone comes to you, confides in you and asks you to not to tell anyone. And you agree... Then you are obligated to keep and maintain that promise. Don't let your loose lips share their secrets. They came to you because they trust you. Trust is the hardest thing in the world to give and the easiest thing to destroy. It kills me to hear people talking about LOYALTY, as if people understand what the word or the idea really means. And if someone shares something with you and it's too much to bear - tell that person you don't feel like you can keep that secret. Give them an opportunity to do something with the situation before you go running your mouth. Again TRUST.
Beware of those too eager to hear your secrets or the secrets of someone else. Trust. Secrecy, Privacy, Silence and Openness. Paradoxically - secrets have the power to both unite people and divide them. Make no mistake the power secrets have over us is beyond our understanding. Secrets can shatter lives. Sometimes it can bridge communication gaps in relationships.
Secrets are some of the reasons fueling our biggest fears of judgment. People's biggest fear is not death, but humiliation and judgment. Still we manage to feed this sickness. We keep secrets, we create secrets and then become terrified that someone may inevitably learn our secrets and judge us. Psychology is fascinating. It is natural for human nature to follow the root of emotion. It doesn't always mean it's the right choice. So we make a poor choice and then spend far too much time trying to cover everything up. Worried about hurting this person, or what they might think, or whatever it might be. Why do we fear judgment so much? Who cares what someone else thinks...? Maybe that someone is your kid. Maybe they've always looked up to you and held you in the highest respect and now they've learned you did something they think is disgustingly horrible. Their judgment has left you spinning. That's why we all stand in fear of being judged. We are so afraid that our secrets are going to be worse than those secrets kept by the people we care most for, and that they will stand in judgment of us.
Guess what - no one, and I do mean absolutely no one has the right to stand in judgment of someone else. We all want to give our opinions and share "brutal truths" guess what - who cares!!! Make how you see yourself the most important thing to you. Everything else is just chatter. Be the person that doesn't have to worry about what someone is going to think of your secrets. If someone loves you and trusts you enough to share intimate details of their life with you - keep them intimate. Trust, Loyalty and Respect are fundamental to healthy relationships. If you lack these, it's time to think about whether these are healthy relationships. Just sayin.
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