ar·chi·tec·ture/ ärkiˌtek-CHər/
| Noun: |
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I was asked do I want to be the architect of my life? Do I want to continue being pushed and pulled in every possible direction, except my own? How long will I allow everyone and everything around me to dictate the path my life is taking? At the end of the day, did I accomplish what I wanted or did I just fall in line? Am I truly making choices for myself or choosing because I haven't made any real choices?
It was profound! I was floored. That kind of honesty and none of it meant to inflict pain or to make me feel bad or guilty about my life. What were the choices I thought I was making? The questions stopped me. It left me spinning, it made me think, forced me to ponder the life I am living. So much positive energy and life just bubbling and flowing from this person. So full of joy and life and here they are, the architect of their life. They're making things happen and are somehow unaffected by the negativity. It started me thinking about everything. I've basically been riding a float down a river. A lazy river ride. I've let circumstances and people and situations determine my path. This whole time, I'm explaining away the choices I've been making and really I've just been floating along.
I don't want it anymore. I want to be the Architect of my Life. I want to build the foundation and choose the contents, to ultimately design and create the life I truly desire. Now something is alive in me. I need this! It was like someone breathed life into me and now there's a fire. It made me see things from a completely different perspective. Perception is everything!
Where do I start? What do I do? It's overwhelming when you realize you're not actually in control of your life. Here you are, thinking you're the Captain, but everything and everyone else has been steering. No wonder everyone's been standing in judgment, telling you your choices are wrong. Eureka! It made perfect sense.
As with all things that are important to me, and in my typical fashion, I had to research. I had to be calm. I have to tread carefully forward and empower myself first. Only then could I take back the power, I had so carelessly relinquished. So playing along with the verbiage - I stayed with the word this person chose. Architect. Any other word would not have carried as much weight. Why not!!? Planning the details of my life should have immense benefits and reap great rewards, right?
Architects start with a Vision. That's where I need to start. I need to formulate a Vision, a blueprint of how I see my future. Everything depends on it. Having the life I want depends very much on the future I see for myself. Without direction, I can't blindly move forward. I've always taken misguided pride in the idea that I'm laid back, just enjoying my life. I've become so comfortably numb and complacent. I'm not going in any direction, I'm going in every direction letting the wind just carry me along and it's just not what I want anymore. I depend on me, my kids my family and my friends, they all depend on me! I need to focus beyond my circumstances and be creative, embrace that crazy imagination and channel my passion. Finally! I get it, I understand. I have to have a plan.
I'm going to set everything on fire.
As the Architect of my life, I will need Structure. I have to restore order to all the chaos that has become my life. And yes - while I think I've been thriving, I'm really just living in the moment. And that's okay, if I'm okay with just being okay - but I need to think about my future. Without order and structure I'm floating down that lazy river. I need order, I need to decrease the stress in my life. With structure I can improve my productivity and focus more. This in turn will help me when challenges arise and still give me room for growth and learning. I have to align the structure with what works best for me, for my talents and skills so that I'm moving at optimal speed and performing on a highly proficient level - I've already lost too much time.
Finally. As the Architect of my life, I have to oversee Development and Execution. So as my Vision begins to form and I create Structure and Order, I'm already two/thirds of the way there. Now to bring it all to fruition. To personally oversee the Vision, the Structure and finally the Development and Execution. I hold all the key elements. I have to apply and execute with precision. An Architect must be definitive and detailed and absolute - they can't afford to miss anything. To follow in the same theory, I must be precise and steady, using accuracy and leaving nothing to chance. It gives me the ability to control what I can control. I can't control everything or people, but I can maintain control of the things within my control.
Now I have to ensure and recruit the people that see my Vision, to keep the people closest that will encourage and inspire. Those that reflect similar dreams and aspirations. I must surround myself with positive energy and positive people.
Of course, first I have to start with what I truly want for ME. I have to stop trying to make everyone else happy. Yes, I see it (the ME in all caps glaring at me) and I feel like I'm being selfish. But in truth, I'm not. I've sacrificed so much for so many people, I need this - I need it for me, I want this! If everyone truly means what they say, when they tell me that they'd like nothing more than to see me happy and living my life to the fullest, then surely they'll understand this is the path I choose, for my personal growth. I have the opportunity to create beauty from chaos. This is going to change everything!
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