"Do Me Damage"

Do Me Damage - Digital Daggers

https://youtu.be/v3NKQaU-lvU

We made a cut without precision
And we stitched it up the best two children could
But we were ruled by indecision
And we pushed and pulled more than two people should

When you want me I am here
When you change your mind again and disappear
When it's settled and all is clear
Oh, you change your mind again and want me near

So do me damage or do me right
We could be the ones who see the other side
So do me damage or do me right
We could be the only lovers left alive

We made a pact and said forever
Then we blurred the lines so much, we lost our way
We were broken and stuck together (stuck together)
Then we tried to find the reasons we should stay

When you want me I am here
Then you change your mind again and disappear

So do me damage or do me right
We could be the ones who see the other side
So do me damage or do me right
We could be the only lovers left alive

When it's settled and all is clear
When you want me I am near
When you say that you're mine I come running everytime

So do me damage or do me right (do me right)
We could be the ones who see the other side (other side)
So do me damage or do me right (do me right)
We could be the only lovers left alive
(So do me damage, do me right)
We could be the only lovers left alive
We could be the only lovers left alive

Song by: Digital Daggers

Concessions

"Have you ever felt the longing for someone you could admire? For something, not to look down at, but look up to?"  ~Ayn Rand
"Among those whom I like and admire, I can find no common denominator.  Among those whom I love, I can; all of them make me laugh."  ~ Wystan Hugh Auden
"Surround yourself with people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious."  ~Rachel Wolchin
"Never love anybody that treats you like you're ordinary."  ~Oscar Wilde
"You may not be her first, her last, or her only.  She loved before, she may love again.  But if she loves you now, what else matters?  She's not perfect - you aren't either.  And the two of you may never be perfect together, but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold on to her and give her the most you can.  She may not be thinking about you every single second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart.  So don't hurt her.  Don't change her.  Don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give.  Smile when she makes you happy.  Let her know when she makes you mad.  And miss her when she's not there."  ~Bob Marley
"It's beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind.  Someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts.  Someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you've built up around your mind and let them inside." ~Anonymous

I want....
...to be completely comfortable in silence. 
...to know I don't have to explain myself. 
...to be okay with being truly loved. 
...to know it's okay to be a mess sometimes. 
...to be able to accept a compliment I really like.
...to be seen as an equal. 
...to be fearless and resilient.
...to forever crave and seek knowledge.
...to feel like the only woman, in a room full of beautiful women.
...to have eternal optimism, especially in moments of adversity.
...to see the world and travel, forever exploring the unfamiliar.
...to always be kind, patient and dependable.
...to be imaginative and enthusiastic in all things I do.
...to be humble, gracious and hospitable.
...someone that will catch me when I fall. 
...someone that will stay up with me, when I can't sleep. 
...someone that thinks I'm silly & ridiculous, but never makes me feel like I am.
...someone that will complement my weaknesses.
...someone that lifts me up but isn't afraid to call me out, either.

"That awkward moment when you think you're important to someone, and realize you're not."  ~Anonymous
 

Sweet Child of Mine

I'm not beyond cheesiness.  I'm a child of the 80's and proud!

He is my sweetness.  He is my baby and he's truly one of the sweetest people I've ever known.  His disposition is such that you just can't not love him.  Yes, he talks and a lot - but how can I not expect that from one of my children.  I never shut up...

He's clever and he's funny.  He can provide a healthy debate for color of the sky if you let him.  His 2nd grade teacher believes he will make a great attorney some day.  He loves to give a synopsis or complete breakdown of something as if he were a sportscaster.  His clever remarks will stop you dead in your tracks.  He is funny and he's so smart.  With two older siblings he's learned sarcasm and wit like no other child I know. 

Today I celebrate him.  I celebrate the miracle he is in my life.  He changed everything.  He is my sweet child.  So this is for him... happy birthday my little man. 

"Sweet Child O' Mine"

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky

Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stared too long
I'd probably break down and cry

Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I'd hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain

Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder and the rain
To quietly pass me by

[3x]
Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

[4x]
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Sweet child o' mine
 https://youtu.be/NmqK0aXkHho

Magic

Every once in a while, you'll see a fleeting glimpse of what we all long for in our own lives.  Truly touching, to witness such dizzying love between people.  Just absolutely crazy about each other.  Seeing them does wonders to restore my faith in the magic of love. 

Do they even know the impact seeing their love has on all of us?  I'm guessing they're scarcely aware, but seeing them interact is mesmerizing.  It honestly is.  It's the simplest of their touch.  The way they look at each other.  The sparks that fly when their eyes meet.  Their uncontrollable urge to constantly touch and hug and kiss.  The thoughtful little things they do for each other... just because.  It really is the sweetest thing. 

It's hard to wait
For something you know
Might never happen

But it's even harder
To give up, when
It's everything you ever wanted.

Is it destiny?  I don't know.  I just know I absolutely adore them.  If it's just a heightened state of lust or the real deal with brilliant strokes of affection and devotion, I enjoy seeing them.  How nice it is!  It's like every time they look at each other, they're falling in love again.  And this is why those three little words do not even have to be spoken... it's completely unnecessary for them.  Their eyes, their body language all of it screams they love each other. 

For the rest of us, those on the outside looking in.  When two people really love each other, they find a way to make it work, no matter how hard it is.  If you find you just can't anymore, you're not in love, you're just familiar.  There's still love, just not the kind of love that will last forever.


The Magic Of Love
Love is like magic
And it always will be.
For love still remains
Life's sweet mystery!!
Love works in ways
That are wondrous and strange
And there's nothing in life
That love cannot change!!
Love can transform
The most commonplace
Into beauty and splendor
And sweetness and grace.
Love is unselfish,
Understanding and kind,
For it sees with its heart
And not with its mind!!
Love is the answer
That everyone seeks...
Love is the language,
That every heart speaks.
Love can't be bought,
It is priceless and free,
Love, like pure magic,
Is life's sweet mystery!!

- Helen Steiner Rice -

The Heavy and the Hollow

Hollow:  Having a hole or empty space inside. Without significance.  Insincere.  A hole or depression in something.  Gouge. Scoop. Dig. Shovel. Drained. Emotionally draining.
Heavy: Of great weight, difficult to lift or move. Of great density; thick or substantial. Striking or falling with force. Mentally oppressive and hard to endure. Important or serious.

I was raised to be self-sufficient, kind, honest, patient, driven, humble and to always give people the benefit of the doubt.  To forever follow the lining of the dark cloud until I see the beautiful glimmer of silver.  I was taught to face forward towards the sun and look for the rainbows that follow the storms, to always keep shadows at my back.  I was taught to be open-minded and forgiving. 
I've failed and I've succeeded.  I've had moments of pure elation, moments of extreme depression and plenty of accidental and intentional moments of riding the waves of life wherever they carried me.

We are all faced with having to make choices in life.  There's always the Heavy and the Hollow.  By the 'heavy' I mean the weight of those decisions.  The gravity of the situation.  Good. Bad. Indifferent.  Who's affected.  Who's not.  Repercussions.  Resentments.  Judgment.  By the 'hollow' I mean important, serious often hard to endure emotionally draining moments/choices.  They're my choices.  I owe no one an explanation.  Of course people are impacted by some of those choices.

I live with my decisions, I face being accountable.  It serves no purpose to run from or deny myself.  We all have coping mechanisms.  I'm not foolish enough to believe everyone agrees with my choices.  I am completely aware that people are sometimes hurt by my choices.  That's part of living with the heavy, and that's on me.  The part of the hollow is, that's life too.  Albeit unfair at times, but to tell me I owe someone an apology is smug.  I don't prevail upon other people to respond to things or behave as I would, to make the choices I would, to see through my eyes, to understand what may have contributed to the choices I've made.  When we set expectations, we are setting ourselves up for failure - not everyone will see through your eyes or know what's going on in your head.  Quite often, I feel alone - most people may never understand me.  And that's unfair, but hey - that's life.  It doesn't really matter in the spectrum of it all anyway.  I don't presume to tell people they owe someone an apology or should be apologizing.  What I believe and my opinion are just that.  I won't feign ignorance here.  Most of what we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Most of what we see is perspective, not the truth.  It's not easy to know the difference.

The magnitude of the changes taking place in my life sent me down this road to self-improvement.  It didn't happen overnight.  It wasn't a single solitary situation that set it all off.  There was a multitude of things...simply put, many aspects of my life were not headed in the direction they should.  Sometimes, that has to do with choices.  Sometimes, it has to do with people.  Sometimes, they're intertwined and convoluted.  Sadly, there are things people won't understand.  Things difficult to forgive.  And lots we never forget.  I too am guilty.  When these things surface it can be very painful.  Especially if it's followed by a litany of other things that have managed to somehow be swept under proverbial rugs.  Sometimes people don't recover.  Sometimes, they don't want to recover.  Sometimes, we are afraid of letting go or letting our guard down.  Walls go up, stay up and some are built stronger and higher.  The impasse is just too great.  I can't speak for other people.  I can only say that with each passing breath I try to do the right thing, I to rise above and I try to consider all things before jumping to conclusions, before making a choice.  I'm fallible but I'm responsible for those decisions.  I don't always make the right choices.  I don't always make the wrong choices.  If I don't choose, I'm giving up that power and have no voice.  I'm not just responsible for my life.  I have children.  I have family.  I have friends.  I have work.  I have principles.  It's all relative. 

What you and I see is often different.  How we may react is often different.  Sometimes we give things or situations more power than they deserve and sometimes that gives it too much power over us.

I won't pretend anymore.  I just can't, I'm not built that way.  I don't want to fake it until I make it.  I have to get up and get out, I have to rise and meet life head on.  I have to be honest with myself and the people I love.  I don't just survive, I thrive.  I want to live my life with passion.  All of it, good and bad.  The challenges are something to strive for, for all difficult things have the seeds of possibility.  When faced with crisis, we should look to overcome.  I always find my way and I always flourish in the midst of chaos. 

Rigidity or Obstinacy

Yep.  Here I go again.

Rigidity is the technical term used in psychology to describe an obstinate inability to yield or a refusal to appreciate another person's viewpoint or emotions characterized by a lack of empathy.  Or it can also refer to the tendency to perseverate, which is the inability to change habits or modify concepts and attitudes once developed. 

We all have these moments.  Every last one of us.  After constantly being told by people that I was obstinate and stubborn - I decided I'd do well to research to truly empower myself with as much knowledge as possible. After all there was a lot of finger-pointing in my direction.  I had no problem owning up to it, though.  Recently, I find when people start pointing fingers, they often need to look in a mirror themselves.  Sometimes it's hard to notice our own issues if we're always focused on others.  We love to find fault in other people, but most of us struggle to admit our own faults.

Since I began this journey towards self-improvement - I didn't want to leave anything to chance.  I truly want to be a better person.  That means covering all bases and getting to the heart of certain things.  During this process, I realize I'm not at all alone.  It's comforting, while also disheartening when I examine everything and find that sometimes the very people pointing are just as guilty. 

Anyway.  The research on this behavior dates back more than a 100 years.  Charles Spearman referred to as mental inertia.  Kurt Goldstein stated, "adherence to a present performance in an inadequate way".  And Milton Rokeach said, "[the] inability to change one's set when the objective conditions demand it".  The research is fascinating.  The material and how each of the psychologist over the course of 100 +  years  determine categorization and definition is different and ostensibly contradicting, yet somehow very much alike. Did that even make sense at all?  Perception when applied speaks to us individually.  So we may all walk away with a different take.

"Mental sets represent a form of rigidity in which an individual behaves or believes in a certain way due to prior experience. In the field of psychology, mental sets are typically examined in the process of problem solving, with an emphasis on the process of breaking away from particular mental sets into formulation of insight. Breaking mental sets in order to successfully resolve problems fall under three typical stages: a) tendency to solve a problem in a fixed way, b) unsuccessfully solving a problem using methods suggested by prior experience, and c) realizing that the solution requires different methods.^[5] Components of high executive functioning, such as the interplay between working memory and inhibition, are essential to effective switching between mental sets for different situations.^[6] Individual differences in mental sets vary, with one study producing a variety of cautious and risky strategies in individual responses to a reaction time test.^[7]"

The concept of rigidity has been at the center of controversy for years.  Empirical data was gathered and supports one or both of two theories regarding the enigma of rigidity.  There's an assumption that rigidity is a personal factor and the perspective is that it's task specific, while other psychologists believe that it is a behavioral phenomena only observable under specific conditions.  To me, this sounds so relevant to the other, how can they not be tied in to the same thing. 

 

It falls in the cognitive basics under psychology, but there's nothing basic about it.  The fact that doctors and counselors alike struggle with the fundamental principles behind this behavior is a blaring example of just how much of a conflict there is within the medical community. 

 

There's also the phenomenon of obstinacy.  Freud says it's a derivative of anal conflicts or a component of 'anal character'.  It's referred to as development for the ego-psychology and important to note that this is considered a struggle for the ego and any outside forces threatening from within and from without.  The obstinate individual seeks out to fight but not for any real gain except to feel superior to others.  Freud goes on to say that if the obstinate individual should actually win the fight for some aim based on reality, said individual loses interest and moves on.  So essentially, this person fights with characteristic persistency and stubbornness for the unconscious need to feel secure through superiority.  This 'unconscious need' will be never be satisfied.  Is this obstinacy or neurotic behavior?  If I could draw my own conclusions from this, I would say I don't fit either category. 

 

Yes, I am stubborn.  I can be obstinate - but not for any of these reasons.  I just don't like to take advice from people that don't walk the walk.  Unsolicited advice drives me crazy!!  For me, it's more of an insult that people (people I love and care about) find me incapable of making choices for myself.  I see it as condescension.  Right or wrong, it's how I envision unsolicited advice.  Where does that fall based on the information above?  I keep reading.  It doesn't even matter at this point if it's relative, it's exciting. 

 

I find an article, "When Obstinacy is a better (Cognitive) Policy".  This is getting good. There's evidently Two Information Response Policies.  One is 'The Naïve Policy' and the other is 'The Obstinate Policy'.  Allow me to expound.  The Naïve Policy is based on the foundation that we can only process a limited amount of information at once.  We lose too much information and there's no way to immediately prioritize the information, and the more information that becomes available the less likely we are to process more options.  We immediately begin to limit the information coming in and going out. The Obstinate Policy disregards any available information as it begins to come in and bears any resemblance on the proposition at hand.  Once we've already begun to process our own substantial response with information, we essentially tune out any information coming in.  Though they each sound similar, they're not.  I don't see how this is a behavioral phenomena, but maybe the fact that I immediately tune out when someone starts with unsolicited advice is just that. 

 

Why do I do this?  I'll leave that to the psychologists to figure out.  Point is, unless you're a psychologist, stop diagnosing me.  In the interim I'd say I fit in more than one of these theories and not truly one theory, at all.  I guess I'm a walking contradiction.  Still, if we are empowered with all this information and human nature being anything but basic - I can push forward and continue on my path to self-improvement.  I know a little more than I did before - isn't that improvement?   More than anything I wish friends and family would stop putting the M and D after their names. 

 

I'll gladly accept any real medical advice that's free, from a qualified doctor or counselor, should any of my readers care to assist with this head case...

An Angel

If you only knew how much I truly miss you?  Last night I saw you.  You were smiling and everyone around you was aglow with your warmth and love.  You must know how much I wish that dream was real.  How I wish you could've stayed longer.  No one ever made me feel more loved and accepted than you.  You brought that to everyone.  The depth of your love and the beauty of your soul was nothing short of perfection.  You taught me truth's no one ever would.  You held my hand in some of the most difficult moments of my life.  You never judged anybody.  And with a smile and a touch of your tiny soft hands, you'd tell me everything would be okay.  I knew it was true. 

There were never any hidden messages.  No lies.  No exaggerations.  No agenda.  You would pray.  And people would heal.  I've never in my whole life ever heard anyone breath a bad word about you.  EVER!  Never any drama or gossip.  You lived life so simply.  Your love held no boundaries.

How I wish little man could've met you.  How you would've adored him and how he would've reminded you of Nano.  Sometimes I think it's why the bond is so strong with Mom.  The kids love to tell him about you.  He sleeps with your pillow.  How the kids would love to see you.  You are our angel.  When I see you in my dreams, I get upset when they end.  I know it's selfish.  You always taught me to be grateful for the little moments, how much more they'd matter in the long run.  I miss you.  I wish you were here now to guide me.  I need you so much.

I want to believe you came to see me last night, because you always knew when my heart was troubled.  I know you're always watching.  I miss your half tuna sandwiches and unsalted chips with a pickle and a diet pepsi.  I miss hearing the TV blaring with baseball in the other room and Nano with his jokes.   He'd make such a mess with his lunch.  You were always so patient.  You listened.  Our talks.  You were more honest with me than anyone.  How I wish someone would listen the way you always did.  You were everything I wish I could be.  You always knew when anyone's heart needed healing.  You are still the single biggest figure in my life.  I try so hard to be humble, to be honest, to be patient, to be understanding, to not pass judgment.  I struggle.

What I wouldn't give to be standing next to you in the kitchen, watching you cook and hearing you sing.  Funny thing.  The little stuffed yellow mama and baby cats you gave me, weren't where they were supposed to be yesterday.  It was you.  It had to be you.  

 

Slutty, Sluttier, Sluttiest

Careful now!  Don't stand in judgment, it's not our place.  We all have a friend or family member that's a slut, and if you don't know any - then, you're probably the slut.  This post is dedicated to my female friends.  Though, I'm certain a few men may appreciate the post.

Urban Dictionary: Slut
"Someone who provides a very needed service for the community and sleeps with everyone, even the guy that has no shot at getting laid and everyone knows it. She will give him a sympathy fuck either because someone asked her to or she just has to fuck everyone she knows. These are great people, and without them sex crimes would definitely increase. Thank you slut, where ever you are."

*A derogatory term. 
*Refers to a sexually promiscuous person, usually female. 
*One who engages in sexual activity with a large number of persons, occasionally simultaneously. 
*Also refers to one who engages in sexual activity outside of a long-term relationship within the duration of said relationship.
*These sexual activities include but are not limited to: passionate kissing, manual stimulation of genitalia and/or breasts in the case of a female; oral stimulation of these parts; sexual intercourse.
*In some cases, used to refer to a woman who is wearing "skimpy" or tasteless clothing.
*Less commonly, used as a derogatory term by one female for another during periods of conflict.
*Synonyms: whore, tramp. Derivations: slutty (adj.), sluttier/sluttiest (superlatives). Related *Adjectives: easy; immoral; loose; cheap.

 

Could Urban Dictionary be wrong?  UHM.  No, it's pretty dead on.  And for those of you feeling superior because your moral compass won't allow you to befriend or love the slut - stop reading, now.  You're not going to enjoy this post.  Right, wrong or indifferent - she is providing a service.  Sadly, she will be called names behind her back, it will be her body that takes a toll from all the promiscuity.  But think of it this way, she's helping her fellow men.  She's granting sympathy sex for those, who might never get any, any other way.  She's released you from a miserable night, all because she went home with you without thinking twice.  Thankfully, she won't become attached and reach out to you - no worries about a stage 5 creeper or clinger.  So detached, so perfect!  She's just so thoughtful.  She's just so willing to please everybody else.  Now quit your slut-shaming!!! 

 

There are stigma's attached...  You've decided the slut is less intelligent, less mentally sound, less competent, her health or hygiene may be in question - all because her promiscuity has led you here.  Make no mistake, she knows what she's doing.  In fact, she may even be superior in her level of intelligence, she's just far less manipulative than other females less slutty.  Oh and definitely more sexual in nature.  Chances are you don't have to wine and dine her.  You won't have to wait until the third date to try and kiss her.

 

Here's where I may lose my male readership.  The sexual double standard has been studied for decades.  Yes, there's scientific proof that the male slut is revered and often thought to be the 'Alpha' male.  While the female slut is well, she's a slut.  Someone less competent, someone that's been around and still working the circle.  I don't care much for the sexual double standard, but in truth, I also don't really care.  I don't see how the male slut could be the alpha male, but I  personally concur it's a far more tragic thought to be a female slut.  Just a whole lot more going on, besides choosing to be promiscuous.  Anatomically speaking, a whole lot more going on and the upkeep, oh my!

 

I liked this theory; females are less likely to accept casual sex because women have less ova than males have sperm.  Shocking!  It made sense to me, and then it didn't.  It seemed a bit trite.  "There were only two of the proven double standards the researchers identified through studies. The concept of slut-shaming women for having casual sex in a society where promiscuous sexual behavior is only acceptable for men is not a theory – it’s a state of mind that has led to a culture of unsafe sexuality."

A woman wanting safe casual consensual and pleasurable sex should be something embraced.  Not every girl wants to be a good girl and/or morally or sexually circumspect.  And sometimes, good girls don't always stay on the path of righteousness.  In an age where our society boasts of being a part of the biggest Sexual Revolution, you'd think people were a little less capricious and a little more subjective.  Our liberal society will have you think they are so open minded, are they? 

 

It may not be my lifestyle choice and I don't care if any of my girlfriends want to be or are a slut.  If you want to be a slut, slut away.  Just protect yourself and the people you engage in intimate acts with.  Love yourself and show some slut pride.  No I'm not picking at you.  I'm definitely not patronizing either, I'm quite serious.  I love my slutty girlfriends.  And even my slutty guy friends.  They're not afraid to be who they are and it's their life, their journey, their choice. 

 

Shaking it up and breaking the monotony the only way I know how...

 

~the Science Behind Being a Slut. by: Laura Slavin

 

 

Waitress

My daughter and I were lazing about recently, watching a movie called Waitress.  Well I think she was doing homework and I was folding clothes.  It was a decent movie, it was different.  Cute.  A movie with a message of course.  And as the movie is coming to an end, my daughter asks a question...

She asked, "What did you think the first time you saw my brothers and me, when we were born?"  I had to collect my thoughts.  Then I had to collect myself.  And as tears flowed, my voice broke and I tried to tell her of the miraculous moment. 

I remember each of them.  Quite clearly.  The way they each smelled, the way they wiggled in my arms, the way they struggled to see me and open their eyes, the way there was an immediate bond and connection, how they didn't cry and how they just knew who I was.  How my voice soothed them and I will never forget it.  Never.  Nothing else in the world compares to it, before or after.

In that moment when I saw each of them, I knew what true love was, I knew my life was going to change epically and I knew they'd be my everything.  They were my first thought in the morning when I woke, and the last thought at night before I slept.  I would forever think of them every moment of every day until I breathe my last breath.  I could easily say when I laid eyes on them it took my breath away.  I could tell you tears of joy streamed down my cheeks, uncontrollably.  I could tell you that it was indescribable and that the only way I could help my daughter to understand, was by saying some day, if she chose to have children - she would know. 

Even now, writing it all down.  My eyes fill with tears, my chest begins to swell and I struggle to maintain an even tone in my voice.  I followed it by telling her - it's the only true love you will ever really know.  Unlike anything.  Sometimes, when I look at my amazing children, I get lost in those thoughts.  They think I'm silly and ridiculous.  They just don't know yet.   But. They will.  They will.

Nonverbal Skills

People can talk and talk and talk, and you never understand a word they're saying.  And some people don't have to say a word.  Body Language is something to behold.  It alludes to what words can often hide.

Body language is nonverbal communication.  It's an art form for some.  For many of us, it's mystery.  Ever try to figure out if someone was interested in you?  Did you follow all the key signs to look for and still couldn't tell?  Did you think they were interested, only to find yourself blushing ear to ear and wishing you could hide under a rock?  Or think they're just not interested, and then they plant a kiss on you, damn near brings you to your knees?  How could you miss that?

Some of us just aren't very good with nonverbal communication.  SO much is given away in other forms of communication.  Long gone are the real conversations.  We've become so reliant on our phones and social media.  We text everything, yet none of it gets the message across.  We have begun to abbreviate everything.  Never mind that the art of writing a note is long gone, so is nonverbal communication. 

Think about it.  People break up over a text.  Possibly because it's easier to text than face someone.  Having to see all that nonverbal communication can be disheartening and will definitely make you uneasy. Nothing quite like someone's facial expression when you tell them things aren't working out.  Or the gestures that follow....  no bueno!!   Why are we so afraid of real human interaction?  People are more comfortable on their phones, talking and texting than they are in conversation.  But body language is an epic form of communication.  Without it, so much of the message from a few words can be lost. 

Emotions can be detected more quickly and accurately with body language.  What about a handshake?  Isn't that nonverbal communication?  I mean yes, it's a greeting ritual, but isn't it more?  Doesn't it say something about that person?  Confidence?  Respect?  Manners?  Sure, many cultures don't practice handshakes and in some cultures men are not allowed to shake hands with women and vice versa.  But isn't it far more difficult to shake hands with someone you merely know via a social media environment?  Okay, Okay - I get it the world wide web has opened the lines of communication so wide... blah blah blah.  But I still concede there's no better communication than face to face.

Law enforcement uses body language as tells, and so do poker players.  Body language provides unspoken cues.  Some people can master deceit with lies, but their body language will give them away.  Ever ask someone a question, they tell you one thing - but their body language screams something else??  Can you tell if someone is lying or truly happy to hear from you via text??

Kinesics is the study and interpretation of body language.  "Kinesics is the interpretation of body motion communication such as facial expressions and gestures — that is, nonverbal behavior related to movement of any part of the body or the body as a whole."  It's all non-linguistic.  It's quite fascinating.  How many games can you think of that are based on nonverbal skills?? 

So you want to express to your special someone that you're in the mood, but can't use words - think a phone or social media will get that message across better than your nonverbal skills??  Good luck with that!!  I'll take my chances with nonverbal skills... so many more options!!!