I don't want to feel at this depth anymore. I'm exhausted with feeling so intensely and unimaginable for anyone else. Why must pain always love to draw me in, when I only want be loved. This heart of mine beats too furiously for anyone to hold my hand and love. I stand like a child in a lightning storm, and drown screaming in the rain, because its quiet there. And still I hear my heart rage with thunder. I wish I could pretend to not care. I wish the lies could flow from me like music flows from you. My dreams are too vivid and the shadows of black and white rip through my mind and tear at my flesh, until I feel you in my ribcage, coursing and gnawing through me. Where has my favorite color gone, why do I no longer bleed in beautiful reds and burnt orange? No, why must I instead feel the sharp cold shades of blue, like knives, the always haunting shades of blue. Let me wisp away in embers of fire or ambers and gold. Your haunting shades of blue are weighing too heavily for me, you're crushing my soul.
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