I have to crank my music louder, so I don't hear my overthinking. It's painful today. I feel like a cat that runs from one room to the other, for no apparent reason...unsure of every single thought, every single word swimming in my head. Wishing and wanting for something I'm probably not going to have.
Trying to keep hope at bay, is exhausting - never mind staying out of my own head. It seems I've only felt the awful sting of hope lately, and finally someone promising, comes into my life... but I know me, I'll rush in, heart first and head last, only to be destroyed when they leave.
Stay optimistic or stay realistic?
*reflects back* wondering how it is I can share such truth and intimacy with someone, to quickly become somebody, they're just too busy to talk to now. I always seem to fade into obscurity. ....for days, weeks, and months they hang on my every word, never seeming to get enough, and then.... poof!
Why have I allowed myself to come here again? To travel this road? Why won't I just let it go? I know it's exactly what I need to do, yet here I am clinging to silly notions, and silly dreams...
*whispering and chanting to myself, trying to keep rhythm with the music .... just let it go, girl
Trying to keep hope at bay, is exhausting - never mind staying out of my own head. It seems I've only felt the awful sting of hope lately, and finally someone promising, comes into my life... but I know me, I'll rush in, heart first and head last, only to be destroyed when they leave.
Stay optimistic or stay realistic?
*reflects back* wondering how it is I can share such truth and intimacy with someone, to quickly become somebody, they're just too busy to talk to now. I always seem to fade into obscurity. ....for days, weeks, and months they hang on my every word, never seeming to get enough, and then.... poof!
Why have I allowed myself to come here again? To travel this road? Why won't I just let it go? I know it's exactly what I need to do, yet here I am clinging to silly notions, and silly dreams...
*whispering and chanting to myself, trying to keep rhythm with the music .... just let it go, girl
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