Monday, October 29, 2012

Several weeks ago, I dreamt of a black and white tigress. Tigers are symbolic to me and often appear in my dreams just prior to a major change in my life. If you're a skeptic - save your judgemental bullsh*t, this isn't meant to imply my dreams become reality. It's just one of those things darting through my mind and I felt the need to share.


I can't relay the panic and fear I felt as this tigress was quietly stalking me as prey through the maze of cubicles in the office. The parking lot was full of cars and it was daylight when I used my badge to gain access to the building. Once inside, everything was gravely dark. Intense and immediate fear washed over me in that stairwell - I knew I had to hide, but I surely couldn't hide there. As I crept through the empty office I could see out the windows. My co-workers were running and screaming in the parking lot. It was pitch black save for the dim light from the glorious full moon. I couldnt make out any of their faces, but I knew they were my co-workers. Someone was being ripped apart and their horrific screams eventually trailed off. I was paralyzed in fear. I couldn't move, I knew the tigress had seen me. She gracefully leapt through the parking lot towards a back window. Only then was I able to move - a split second later I bobbing and weaving through the cubicles, sweat pouring down my back. I had managed to move unseen through the doors and past the lobby to the other side of the building. I found myself in the bathroom, only this wasn't any of the bathrooms at work, this was a bathroom from a scene in a scary movie(one that scared the bejesus out of me years prior). I had run into one of the back stalls and got as low to the ground as I could. There was a candle lit, but I didn't see it until I heard the tigress' large paws come into the bathroom. Damn it, why had I not blown that candle out?! I held my breath and watched the large cat as she moved carefully, quietly. My eyes shifted for only a moment and when I looked back to see where she was - her face was right in front of mine. She let out a low growl and her large teeth bared as if grinning, she tilted her head just slightly. I closed my eyes as if in a trance and ready to meet death - but when I opened them, I was the tigress staring into the mirror next to the lit candle.

Since childhood, I've had reoccuring dreams and nightmares. Sometimes the people or places interchange and sometimes it's the same. I can't shake this dream. The events that followed a week or so later would devastate my life. I haven't been the same since.

Thankfully, I'm moving forward. Oddly enough, all these changes remind me of the song, Landslide. Somehow the lyrics just resonate with me.

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