What she wants..

My friend begins her story just like this...she says there's this great guy and he really is the whole package. He's continuing his education, and he's funny and very good looking. Eloquent and charming. Stylish and interesting with debonairre-like manners. Very flirtatious and his eyes and his lips, oh how they beckon. But... he has a girlfriend.

I tell her to run, she glares at me and says she knows, she knows...but she can't. It all happened so fast. She doesn't know how she got there at light spped and at the same time she knows with the girlfriend thing it stands little chance? But, he says all the right things and he is Super Suave. I am now beside myself at her gullibility. She just got her heart broken. What the hell is she thinking? I mean really is she falling for this? She's got to be the most naive person I know!! She says he seems so sincere, says that he has looked her dead in the eyes and told her that she isn't, nor will she be played. He's says he's drawn to her, it's because she's beautiful, sexy, classy, adorable and funny. He says she carries herself well and she's feminine, that he's very picky but she truly stands out.

But ...the girlfriend. He says it's over, but because of the girl's situation he feels pity and can't bring himself to end it, not until she's on her own and on her feet. He says it would lack compassion.(sadly she relates) She's mad at me and says I wouldn't understand, I had to be there she says...it was real, it was genuine.

SO >>> I ask her what does SHE want. She pauses and rolls her eyes. Then she says... I want a companion, a loving relationship that has meaning, someone I can laugh with and spend time with, someone that gets me and makes me feel like I'm the only woman in the room. She's terrified that she would come to grow in her affections so quickly, and I can see it in her face. She says she wants to share something special and thinks that she might have a chance with him. She doesn't want an affair or a fling but she believes there really is something there, something beyond the physical attraction. So, I tell her if he's sincere in his intentions and his interest and his affections for her, then he'd understand why she has to back away. He has to be truly open and unattached (if he in fact really wants the same thing with her) for the timing to be right and for this to have any real chance. And if he doesn't understand, then she was nothing more than a mere conquest. Better to know now, than hurt later.