Imperfections

My life is riddled with the tragic yet laughable epic failures of one relationship after another. I've played my role absurdly well in each. Despite my new found solitude, I'm feeling healthy, confident, sexy and smart, my self-depricating humor at an all time high, though every now again, I am unabashedly lonely. This is one of those moments. And what is that all about? I can be giddy as a school girl, content and reasonably happy under the premise that my life is in fact mine - but is it? I have no one to answer to, no one to apologize to, I can go where I want, when I want, and with whom I want - though recently a recluse.

So many of my friends go from one wretched relationship to another never taking a moment to breathe in between or they speed date through life never settling down. Then I have the friends that are holding out for the elusive ONE. (so many of us are victims of watching too many romantic comedies) So, I'm told if I don't want to be lonely (a spinster) than I need to date.

I absolutely loathe dating. It's such anthropological excrement...same old lines, same old everything. It's a sham, a cliche...always obscuring their true colors and ughhh now I've invested time and affections into some guy that's not even real. What? See how it's making me bitter and I'm not a bitter person. But this subject...

Sure, I could apply my eternal optimism towards dating hoping it will eventually pay off. Honestly, why bother? Is it so unfair to want a companion? What about having something in common to talk about? Music, movies, books, politics and religion (most tend to shy away from such subject matter, but I'm a curious kitty...I embrace and respect that all of us have an opinion) or current events? Does no one read anymore? What about a kick ass concert? Will no one challenge my mind?

So I'm resigned to the idea that it's not likely I will find a companion through a tainted and twisted ritual of lies and propaganda. Why can't anyone just be themselves anymore? We all have imperfections. I want to know your qualities and your imperfections. Just be you.