She forced a smile, she knew she'd never be the same person, not after this.
She knew that she would never be her...not ever again. She would be forever changed. The hole inside her grew and it was dark and ominous and painful and it shredded and ripped away at her insides like daggers leaving her hollow and empty, leaving her crumpled up and on the floor, nothing but a shell. It was something she'd have to come to terms with eventually. But at that moment, she was in survival mode. She knew when the gravity of that decision hit her, she would cry for days, weeks, months, years even ..mostly ...at night with her door closed, after everyone was fast asleep. She knew why she did what she did. She knew the moment she decided, that all those beautiful brilliant pieces of her that lit up a room and sparkled and dazzled like diamonds, she knew that that the opulence and beauty would be lost forever. She knew. It was a choice, and hers alone to make, and she chose it. She had done this to ensure something much bigger, something so astounding and without measure greater than anything anyone would ever understand. It was one of the most difficult decisions she would ever have to make. She did it for them, she always did everything for them, she would do anything in the world for them. It was her sacrifice to make. Anything. Even this. And as she tore away at those beautiful pieces of her soul, she knew she would never be the same. Not ever. Not ever again. ...not after this...
She would pick up the pieces and walk with her head held high and she would pretend for the rest of her life that everything is okay. She smiles, not because she has to, but because she can stare down demons and laugh in the face of the devil. Nothing and No one will ever break her. She's strong because she has to be.
No one will ever love those wretched, broken forsaken pieces and she knew that. Her heart ached because she knows she will carry those shattered pieces with her to her grave.
She knew that she would never be her...not ever again. She would be forever changed. The hole inside her grew and it was dark and ominous and painful and it shredded and ripped away at her insides like daggers leaving her hollow and empty, leaving her crumpled up and on the floor, nothing but a shell. It was something she'd have to come to terms with eventually. But at that moment, she was in survival mode. She knew when the gravity of that decision hit her, she would cry for days, weeks, months, years even ..mostly ...at night with her door closed, after everyone was fast asleep. She knew why she did what she did. She knew the moment she decided, that all those beautiful brilliant pieces of her that lit up a room and sparkled and dazzled like diamonds, she knew that that the opulence and beauty would be lost forever. She knew. It was a choice, and hers alone to make, and she chose it. She had done this to ensure something much bigger, something so astounding and without measure greater than anything anyone would ever understand. It was one of the most difficult decisions she would ever have to make. She did it for them, she always did everything for them, she would do anything in the world for them. It was her sacrifice to make. Anything. Even this. And as she tore away at those beautiful pieces of her soul, she knew she would never be the same. Not ever. Not ever again. ...not after this...
She would pick up the pieces and walk with her head held high and she would pretend for the rest of her life that everything is okay. She smiles, not because she has to, but because she can stare down demons and laugh in the face of the devil. Nothing and No one will ever break her. She's strong because she has to be.
No one will ever love those wretched, broken forsaken pieces and she knew that. Her heart ached because she knows she will carry those shattered pieces with her to her grave.
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