25 Signs

So daily, my email gets flooded with all kinds of nonsense.  Some of it, I've foolishly signed up for... no turning back now, though.  In keeping with the spirit of my less stressful posts, I'm going to share the love from an article Cosmopolitan sent me.  Titled...

25 Signs He'll Be A Good Boyfriend
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a56236/signs-hell-be-a-good-boyfriend/?mag=cos&list=nl_chg_news&src=nl&date=040116

Yes.  Trust me when I tell you, it was an engaging.  It forced me to think...I was, in fact, comparing notes.  Perhaps the fact that I'm single speaks volumes?  Could it be true?  Hmm, I don't know.  What do I know, I always follow my heart (because it's immoral to go against your gut and that would be too wise a easy for me) still - I have no regrets.  I would never, even now, use such an antiquated list.... for obvious reasons.   So... just for giggles, I'm going to share .... (copied and pasted and the link is above...however, I'm going to insert my thoughts - because I'm opinionated - in red) 

• 1. He asks about how your friend Becky is doing after her breakup. Him caring about your friends and asking about them later not only shows that he's a caring person, but he's invested in your life and the people in it. On the rare occasion, you find a man that was listening to you ramble on. Rare indeed!
• 2. After he met Becky for the first time, he was like, "Do you think that went well?" You don't want to end up with a guy who's like I don't care if your friends hate me, they suck anyway. That's just a logistical nightmare and is surely going to end in some severed ties with people you really care about. I don't think it's as simple as this.... this is dicey.
• 3. When you bring up that your boss is being rude to you at work, he doesn't sigh and roll his eyes because you're "complaining again." If he can't sit through a five minute tirade about a lame work situation, he won't be able to sit down with you when something seriously big goes wrong. I think any man will sit through and tolerate whining, if he thinks he's getting some later.  I'm sure at some point, they'll also vent.
• 4. He's polite to waiters and cashiers and doesn't do that awful thing where you yell "CHECK, PLEASE" across the restaurant. It might have been cool to date the guy who was sweet to you but an asshole to everyone else when you were 13 and bullies were kind of sexy, but that sort of relationship doesn't hold up in adulthood. Don't date a man-bully who could very well turnaround and bully you if you piss him off. How you treat people is huge! Life is an echo - what you send out into the world comes back to you.
• 5. He doesn't desert you at his friends' parties.  It's ok for him to encourage you to be friendly with his friends, but it's not ok for him to have an exclusive conversation with Chad while you sit alone awkwardly on the couch.  You're a big girl, honestly you should be able to mingle on your own. But if he brought you to his friends' party he should be looking out for you - mingling and introducing you to his people.
• 6. He always offers to share the last slice of pizza with you and then doesn't say anything when you "accidentally" eat way more than half of it. If the last slice is sacred enough for Drake to rap about it in a love song, ("You could have my heart or we could share it like the last slice") then it must be a real sign of a potentially great romance. ... it would be a really sweet gesture.
• 7. He doesn't manspread across your entire schedule and take over your whole world. It might be flattering if the guy you just met wants to spend all his time with you, but if he's really invested in who you are as a person, he'll encourage you to be your own person and hang out with him when you both have time.  Agreed.  You want to spend time together, but you still have stuff you must do (you're an adult) he should have stuff to do also.  You should not be joined at the hip all the time.  
• 8. He's genuinely interested in (or at least good at faking it) your long, rambly stories about family vacations you took as a kid. Instead of getting frustrated and impatient when you talk for 10 minutes about that one weird trip you went on in 2007, he's excited to hear about what happened after that fight you had with your little brother in the backseat of the family van.  If he is genuinely interested, not only will he listen, he may even say something later on to show he was listening.  LOVE this. (this is the same as #1)
• 9. He doesn't get upset when you say you need some alone time. You would understand if he needed some, and he doesn't want to take over your life anyway. Sometimes you need personal space, no couple should be joined at the hip all the time, (same as #7)
• 10. He never says things like, "You're being crazy," or, "You're being ridiculous." Because he's compassionate and empathetic, and realizes saying things like that make you feel little and stupid, and a good boyfriend would never do those things. HA! First - all women are crazy, we all just have varying degrees of crazy, embrace it ladies - on the flip side, it's in a guy's best interest to not mention or point it out - this can escalate crazy.  This can be dangerous for him and others.   Crazy Hot Matrix - Must watch video!!!!
• 11. He makes you feel like a hot babe all the time. You don't want to spend a significant amount of time with a guy who makes you feel insecure or question whether or not he's attracted to you. You should make me feel like I'm the only girl in a room full of beautiful people.  It's disrespectful to check someone out in front of the person you are with - this applies to both men and women!!! It's not just a song...Make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world!!!
• 12. He has female friends who aren't aren't just a collection of women who've seen his penis before. If other girls (who aren't exes or former flings) like him enough to be his friend, he's probably a good guy that you'll also enjoy spending time with (and kissing a lot). Tricky.  But agreed, he should have at least one functional platonic friendship where there hasn't been intimacy nor does he entertain the idea - trust. 
• 13. He gets really excited when you hit it off with his best friend Jason, just like he knew you would. He wants his friends to like you. Yes. 
• 14. You don't find a million texts and missed calls on your phone from him after spending a night out with your girlfriends. This is a red flag of a potentially obsessive or manipulative guy. NOPE.  Trust.
• 15. He doesn't try to act hard and pretend he doesn't have feelings when he's around you. Mature adults shouldn't be afraid to say things like, "I like you," or, "I think you're really cool." I shouldn't be trying to figure out how you feel.
• 16. He texts after work to see how that meeting with your boss Steph went. It would be annoying AF for him to be texting you every 10 minutes when he knows you're busy all day, but checking in later shows he cares the right amount.  Thoughtfulness goes a long way.
• 17. He doesn't rush you out the door when you're trying to make sure your lip liner is perfectly applied and not smudged. He might do a little bit of gentle ribbing about how slow you are, but he shouldn't shame you for taking your time and trying to look good. That's rude. I got nothin.
• 18. When he screws up, he's quick to apologize instead of letting you stew in your anger for a week and a half. Stubbornness is actually an incredibly unattractive quality, and it only makes little fights turn into enormous ones. And a good boyfriend typically tries to avoid enormous fights. Uhm, yeah, I think everyone is guilty of this... 
• 19. And when you screw up, he doesn't hold a grudge forever like a sullen teen named Todd. If he isn't perfect, he can't expect you to be perfect, either. He forgives.  Scorecards - shouldn't be brought up in every argument. 
• 20. He has interests and hobbies aside from dating you. You want to date a person, not a pre-packaged boyfriend. That gets so boring so fast. Please.
• 21. When you're hanging out, he talks about things he wants to do with you in the future, even if it's just the near future.  If there's no talk of a future, there is no future. 
• 22. He doesn't immediately start acting like your boyfriend after hanging out one time in a friend's back yard. Going from 0-100 real quick is a good way to end up crashing and burning before the relationship ever gets started. This guy gets to know you. You know, like an adult person.  This speaks for itself.
• 23. He sends a "hey I had a lot of fun" text after hanging out with you. He isn't trying to follow any bullshit dating rules about waiting three days before texting or calling. He just likes you is all.  Honesty.  It's nice and I'm not left wondering...
• 24. He's clear about his intentions early on, instead of leaving you in is he a hookup or a boyfriend? limbo for forever. If he doesn't know what he wants, and doesn't figure it out in a reasonable amount of time, he probably never will.  Seriously, don't be a liar.  Make your intentions clear.  
• 25. He gets excited about showing you things he likes. Not because he wants you to be his weird female twin, but because this is the best part of having a good girlfriend.  When someone likes you, they want to share things.  They want to show you the things they like - you might like them too and transversely, they like hearing about what you like, it's all part of the dance. 

 

I'll be honest.  It isn't the list I'd make.  I don't think someone should fit a list, anyway. What do I know - I'm single!!!!