Send in the clowns...

Few things shock me. I may have been absent or maybe I just skipped school that day. Oh wait, it's possible I may have been choking on my own bile and coughing so hard and loud I didn't hear my guidance counselor mention it. I mean can you imagine, all the marvelous things I could aspire to be.

I never really understood clowns. I did dress up as a clown once, for Halloween, unrecognizable to my own family. My own mother shut the door in my stupid clown face when trick or treating with my son in my arms. And we all know how terrifying clowns can be!! I watched Dumbo enough times with my younger brother to have the movie memorized, even now some 35 years later. I never liked the clowns. I thought they were stupid and goofy and uneducated and ridiculous. Maybe that was the point, but I never understood it. Bottom line, they're creepy. Creepy as all move bitch get out the way, I'm running for my life, AND I will never hire one for a child's party. I've seen too many terrified children and adults when faced by some creepy clown. Yes, even the ones some people think look cute. It's just creepy, man. I digress.

Did you know there was a school for clowns, some sort of legit clown college that people are stupid enough to actually pay thousands of dollars to get a clown education. But wait, there's more. There are also conventions and get together's and real creepy clown camaraderie where they all meet and pay homage to John Wayne Gacey. (I actually don't know if that part is true or not), but John Wayne Gacey is one of the most infamous serial killers of all time. All I know is, I'm not about to start emulating him.

So in closing, send in the clowns, because only a clown would pay for a clown education at a clown college.

*I don't really care if clowns everywhere are offended by this blog, in fact, I hope they are offended, because I find clowns offensive*