another crazy romantic notion

I was going to elaborate on the marvels of consistency in relationships. I stopped myself. 

My mom had complicated surgery and is struggling to recover. My dad has been by her side nonstop and as close as he can be while she’s in a nursing/rehab facility, despite struggling with his own ailments. Almost a year ago it was my dad in the hospital with a 13% chance to live and my mom never left his side.

I have seen devotion and love and a bond of real companionship so deeply rooted in my parent’s relationship that it’s both bittersweet and breathtaking to watch. 

I wish I could say I knew what consistency was, and what it felt like for someone to truly love every part of me - even the parts that drive them crazy - but I have only ever witnessed it. I know it exists. I’m not clinging to another crazy romantic notion. I’ve been told I am, but I know what I see. 

It must be the most incredible feeling too. I fucking want that, I want to be with someone that can’t go a day without talking to me. Even if they’re mad. Even if I’m mad. Why is everyone just wanting to hook up, and nobody wants to be in a loving devotional consistent honest relationship? I mean c’mon, there’s got to be one other person out there that wants this too!

It’s all talk about someday this and someday that. My parents are right. If someone is not also willing to sacrifice their independence to have something amazing and isn’t trying to make plans for both right now and a future, then I’m done. And. What a shame.