I was a little bit of a tomboy growing up. But I had to be, I have four brothers. They were also very protective of me then, despite my being a strong female. I shared a room with my younger brother; and he and I are still very close. I can’t say I’ve always liked him, and he knows he’s lucky to be alive. That said, I know I am lucky to be alive too.
Still. He’s my compadre when I want to go kayaking or walk at a park or on a hike. I’ve also been to 92% of all concerts I attended, with him. In fact I miss kayaking with him, it’s been over a month, but I pinched a nerve two weeks ago, so I need to heal. It hurts. Last time I over exerted myself I pinched two nerves and gave myself another hernia, that was while kickboxing. I also miss kickboxing.
Ahh yes the privilege of age. Honestly, there’s a lot that sucks about getting older, but there’s also all the things you got to experience and all the new things you get to do and experience. For example, I may not be able to kickbox anymore, but now I have an incredible grand-baby. It really is the Best trade off EVER!!
Our mindsets should be ever evolving. I know it doesn’t seem like I have a propensity for optimism, but I do. I tend to overdo the silver linings actually, but I don’t want to grow bitter. Just because life occasionally fucks me up doesn’t mean I should stop finding ways to enjoy what time I have. I always somehow manage to steer myself back to me. I am also still trying to raise my son to be a man without the help of a man. So. He needs me. All my kids still need me from time to time. I need me, and also because I want some fucking wins.
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