Get off my lawn!

My internal clock does this horrible thing now; it doesn’t let me sleep in on weekends anymore.

I used to poke fun at my parents; how they were always getting up so damn early long after their youngest child left “the nest”.

They would laugh it off and shrug and say I am just wasting precious time always sleeping in, when I could be up enjoying my day and getting things done. Now I know better. They simply don’t remember how. 

And now look at me, I have a serious case of ‘adultitus’ (yes I just made up that word).

Why didn’t they warn me that years of doing the same exact thing, years and years of being a responsible adult, would also be my surrendering of any real sleep, when all I wanted was to catch up from the full work week. Why? Why didn’t they warn me? It’s pretty selfish of them. I cherished sleeping in past 9am on weekends. Now I can’t remember what it was like. 

Yes I know I should be grateful I am awake and breathing and blah fucking blah. As an adult with a teenager that could sleep until 4pm if I let him, I am up and angry about being awake. I’m conflicted with whether I should let him sleep or wake him at noon so he doesn’t ‘waste his day’ sleeping. 

I have literally turned into my parents. It’s all over now, I am sliding down that hill I just got over and there’s no way to turn back. I’m getting old. 

This isn’t the freedom I thought being an adult of a “certain age” would bring. 

I guess now I will start making afternoon naps and siestas a thing on the weekends, if I want to give in to my body’s need for sleep. Gross.

I started noticing this over a year ago. I don’t stay up until 3am instead I pass out as early as 10pm, on a fucking weekend. This is bullshit! Yet another thing for me to complain about until I accept that it is, what it is. 

Also. My parents didn’t warn me, and they knew this was coming and still they kept it to themselves. 

It’s 8am on a Saturday, I don’t have anywhere to be this morning and I cannot fall back asleep. I’ve been up since 6:15.

Adultitus sucks. (mumbling to myself) Everyone get off my fucking lawn!