Monday, September 3, 2018

Comprehension

 Communication is key.

Without effective communication in a relationship (any relationship) a message can turn into error, misunderstanding, frustration, or even disaster by being misinterpreted or poorly delivered.

"Communication in a relationship is extremely important because it acts as the judge, jury and executioner for who has the final say on whether your relationship lives or dies. Being able to communicate effectively can also stop needless arguments which occur regularly in your relationship."

You must have the same need to exchange hopes and dreams and discuss any and all things on a regular basis. But what if there's distance between you?  Intimacy can not be achieved without effective communication.  And because there is no way to gauge body language or to know someone's nuances, facial expressions or intimate details of their life, or their past - communication can suffer tremendously.  It's easier to become frustrated, to misconstrue and read into things.  Let the communication fall to silence and only the written word or worse, text, can surely become the undoing with irreparable damage.  

Establishing and knowing boundaries in a relationship is elemental to the longevity of that relationship.  Respecting the boundaries once established is very important.  If the boundaries you've set forth for each other can not be respected, you begin to lose respect for each other, either or even both parties can be hurt.  If the line of communication is not re-established there will be no way to fix what has been undone.   

In this day and age who isn't broken and carrying around a lot of baggage from previous relationships.  It's so easy to jump to conclusions and project that this new person is going to do what someone else may have done.  Trust.  How do you get around this?  How do you avoid projecting negativity into a budding relationship that instead needs to be nurtured?  And now that either side is hurt or upset, not only is there grievous misunderstanding, but there is now an impasse. 

Instead people shut down, close themselves off, think maybe they’re overthinking it and decide not to initiate conversation. It’s gets cold and quick and now talking, even texting feels awkward and forced. Communication is lost. In the folds of a budding relationship we fear rejection and loss, and now unable to converse how do you clear the air? Is it too early to say something? Will it chase them off completely?  What difference does it make? If we aren’t saying what we think or feel what kind of foundation are you building anyway?  

How easily that was lost must mean it wasn’t meant for me. Who says this shit? Why are we so willing to be quiet and not express ourselves? Why do we think if we reach out first we are chasing?   Or if they don’t reach out they’re not interested?  This started somewhere. Communicate.  Don’t leave bite marks on your own tongue from all the things you didn’t say? 

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