How can there be a 'happily ever after'? Happiness is a temporary state, it comes and goes as often as other 'emotional' states. Are you maximizing positive emotion and minimizing negative emotions? Clearly there's benefits to experiencing positive emotions. While most certainly there's backlash to experiencing negative emotions. Happily ever after is a fairytale. The sooner you realize this and embrace it, the better off you'll be. I'm not trying to be the gloom and doom cloud in your sky. Just the truth in your head and your heart.
Think about this...We go to school for years, finish, sometimes even furthering our education, get the job of our dreams, then what? We meet that 'one' special person, the apple of our eye, we get married, buy a house, have kids, have 2 cars and pets, then what? Setting goals is very important. Making a plan is a big deal. Our parents wanted us to have a better life than them, but what does that mean?
I agree, we should set goals, we should want better things. We should always be striving for excellence and to improve ourselves. But once you've achieved those, what do you do then? Do you set new higher goals? Do you continue to plan everything in your life? Life is always moving forward, we will always be setting new goals. Always wanting more. Is that living? Maybe it is. Maybe for you, to plan everything makes you happy. So you got the big house and flashy car. Now what? What now? What will you set your sights on? Is it always about money and status? And fame?
How about setting a goal to read a new book? What about planning a vacation that actually allows you to relax? How about learning a new language? How about just spending the day with your kids fishing, swimming or at the park? Why does there always have to be a plan? Why can't a goal be to fly where the wind carries you? Is it really so irresponsible? The best laid plans often fall to pieces. Maybe I just want to see how I feel. Maybe I'd like to just go to the beach and frolic in the sand and build castles... Maybe I don't want the flashy car or big house. Maybe status or name brands are not goals for me? Why do I need to be one of the sheep?
"Despite the fact that happiness is consistently inconsistent, permanently impermanent, we judge ourselves harshly when we cannot maintain consistent happiness. People who are not happy are seen as failures; it is our fault that we cannot hold onto happiness. We are not trying hard enough, not living our life right." To me, quite possibly this may be one of the greatest paragraphs written on the subject matter. Scary true how each and every one of those statements affect each and every one of us.
Folks, its not the end goal that makes it all worthwhile, it's the journey. It's your everyday attitude. It's your ability to look around you and appreciate the moment and everything you have. Why make happiness your goal? Why not simplify your thoughts and goals? Why put so much on the premise that completing those goals, tasks or plans is going to make you happy? And why do we keep trying to attain the idea of happiness? It's a temporary state of emotion, people.
Ask yourself this. Are you doing these things because you want to? Do you derive joy from them? Or is it someone else's agenda? I've spent the majority of my life doing things to please other people, following others, doing as I was told, thinking if I made them happy - then I could be happy. It's all a ruse! I truly believe people will love you for you. Some may think you aren't living up to your potential based on their own goals. Try not to be mad at them, try to be understanding. Try to be patient. We all often want what we want. So sometimes people can imply you're failing, if you're not living up to their goals. Some things work out and some things don't. But I'm not going to apply ultimatums or failure to the things that don't. It's not realistic. And "A lion does not concern itself with the opinion of sheep."
Set your own goals and standards. Live your life and each day for you. If you're happy, the people in your life and those you around you will delight in your joy.
I'm not America's Sweetheart. (to quote a song) And I have no interest in this point in my life in fitting into the ideals of other people. I just don't care about those things. I cherish the idea of people with different ideas and thoughts. But I have no interest in being what someone else wants me to be. I already have a boss at work. I already have to bend a lot for the people in my life. I feel like I'm making enough sacrifices that go unnoticed. I don't want to resent people.
You won't find happiness is someone else - either. So if that's the goal you're setting, please reconsider it. Maybe your kids make you happy - but what a huge burden for them to carry if you're basing all your happiness on them. We all disappoint each other. Every one of us. We are all different. All different opinions, different ideas, different expectations.
In no way am I telling you what you should allow your goals to be or not be, we all process information and are different. I celebrate that. Even if I don't always agree with your opinion or ideas doesn't mean I don't believe in you. If you're a friend or family member of mine, you know this to be a true statement. Enjoy your life. Enjoy your journey. When you feel the precious moments of sheer happiness, enjoy each and every moment.
Please, please - I beg you, remember, there is no happily ever after... it's the journey!
Think about this...We go to school for years, finish, sometimes even furthering our education, get the job of our dreams, then what? We meet that 'one' special person, the apple of our eye, we get married, buy a house, have kids, have 2 cars and pets, then what? Setting goals is very important. Making a plan is a big deal. Our parents wanted us to have a better life than them, but what does that mean?
I agree, we should set goals, we should want better things. We should always be striving for excellence and to improve ourselves. But once you've achieved those, what do you do then? Do you set new higher goals? Do you continue to plan everything in your life? Life is always moving forward, we will always be setting new goals. Always wanting more. Is that living? Maybe it is. Maybe for you, to plan everything makes you happy. So you got the big house and flashy car. Now what? What now? What will you set your sights on? Is it always about money and status? And fame?
How about setting a goal to read a new book? What about planning a vacation that actually allows you to relax? How about learning a new language? How about just spending the day with your kids fishing, swimming or at the park? Why does there always have to be a plan? Why can't a goal be to fly where the wind carries you? Is it really so irresponsible? The best laid plans often fall to pieces. Maybe I just want to see how I feel. Maybe I'd like to just go to the beach and frolic in the sand and build castles... Maybe I don't want the flashy car or big house. Maybe status or name brands are not goals for me? Why do I need to be one of the sheep?
"Despite the fact that happiness is consistently inconsistent, permanently impermanent, we judge ourselves harshly when we cannot maintain consistent happiness. People who are not happy are seen as failures; it is our fault that we cannot hold onto happiness. We are not trying hard enough, not living our life right." To me, quite possibly this may be one of the greatest paragraphs written on the subject matter. Scary true how each and every one of those statements affect each and every one of us.
Folks, its not the end goal that makes it all worthwhile, it's the journey. It's your everyday attitude. It's your ability to look around you and appreciate the moment and everything you have. Why make happiness your goal? Why not simplify your thoughts and goals? Why put so much on the premise that completing those goals, tasks or plans is going to make you happy? And why do we keep trying to attain the idea of happiness? It's a temporary state of emotion, people.
Ask yourself this. Are you doing these things because you want to? Do you derive joy from them? Or is it someone else's agenda? I've spent the majority of my life doing things to please other people, following others, doing as I was told, thinking if I made them happy - then I could be happy. It's all a ruse! I truly believe people will love you for you. Some may think you aren't living up to your potential based on their own goals. Try not to be mad at them, try to be understanding. Try to be patient. We all often want what we want. So sometimes people can imply you're failing, if you're not living up to their goals. Some things work out and some things don't. But I'm not going to apply ultimatums or failure to the things that don't. It's not realistic. And "A lion does not concern itself with the opinion of sheep."
Set your own goals and standards. Live your life and each day for you. If you're happy, the people in your life and those you around you will delight in your joy.
I'm not America's Sweetheart. (to quote a song) And I have no interest in this point in my life in fitting into the ideals of other people. I just don't care about those things. I cherish the idea of people with different ideas and thoughts. But I have no interest in being what someone else wants me to be. I already have a boss at work. I already have to bend a lot for the people in my life. I feel like I'm making enough sacrifices that go unnoticed. I don't want to resent people.
You won't find happiness is someone else - either. So if that's the goal you're setting, please reconsider it. Maybe your kids make you happy - but what a huge burden for them to carry if you're basing all your happiness on them. We all disappoint each other. Every one of us. We are all different. All different opinions, different ideas, different expectations.
In no way am I telling you what you should allow your goals to be or not be, we all process information and are different. I celebrate that. Even if I don't always agree with your opinion or ideas doesn't mean I don't believe in you. If you're a friend or family member of mine, you know this to be a true statement. Enjoy your life. Enjoy your journey. When you feel the precious moments of sheer happiness, enjoy each and every moment.
Please, please - I beg you, remember, there is no happily ever after... it's the journey!
is it really so imperative to have a goal every given day sun is rising?
ReplyDeleteIs it progress based just on "economical" size unities?
Rhetorical questions indeed ;Latins had a word :"Otium" meaning time for leisure,fun but at same time for contemplation and "brain gym"
and it came to my mind the lines from a poem(La ginestra (broom shrud) of Italian poet Giacomo Leopardi
about how futile is progress and how happiness is just a transient feeling
Dove tu siedi, o fior gentile, e quasi
I danni altrui commiserando, al cielo
Di dolcissimo odor mandi un profumo,
Che il deserto consola. A queste piagge
Venga colui che d'esaltar con lode
Il nostro stato ha in uso, e vegga quanto
E' il gener nostro in cura
All'amante natura. E la possanza
Qui con giusta misura
Anco estimar potrà dell'uman seme,
Cui la dura nutrice, ov'ei men teme,
Con lieve moto in un momento annulla
In parte, e può con moti
Poco men lievi ancor subitamente
Annichilare in tutto.
Dipinte in queste rive
Son dell'umana gente
Le magnifiche sorti e progressive.
Where thou dost dwell, O gentle flower,
And, as in pity of another's woe,
A perfume sweet thou dost exhale,
To heaven an offering,
And consolation to the desert bring.
Here let him come, who hath been used
To chant the praises of our mortal state,
And see the care,
That loving Nature of her children takes!
Here may he justly estimate
The power of mortals, whom
The cruel nurse, when least they fear,
With motion light can in a moment crush
In part, and afterwards, when in the mood,
With motion not so light, can suddenly,
And utterly annihilate.
Here, on these blighted coasts,
May he distinctly trace
'The princely progress of the human race!'