I find that in the darkest moments, the light is far brighter even at a great distance. I can run to it, though I occasionally grow tired, or get ADHD and become distracted.

The truth is I hurt, and I feel myself growing incredibly angry. But then being a victim was never a good role for me. I'm a fighter. I have strength beyond the reaches of any man. (not physically, duh) Resilience and patience. Yes, patience. A blind faith that the things that happen in my life, happen for a reason. Sometimes those reasons aren't always clear or evident right away. But eventually, things come together and start to make sense.

Though I'm finding it difficult to buy into all the ridiculousness I bought into before. So I know I'm growing as a person. It ain't leaps and bounds, but who said I had to jump anyway? One step at a time.

None of it ever felt real - it all felt like a dream anyway. Now it's time to wake up.

There's just so much life to live. And I always said, when death comes, I'm sliding in sideways all bruised and beaten, and able to say I've truly enjoyed my life. Those that want to come along for the ride are welcome. Those that don't - well...