Just don't get it...

Yeah, so it's been a while - but I was lacking motivation. Not that I'm all that motivated now. I just don't get men. I've met at least 2 guys now, both seemed interested. But oddly enough, one has dropped off the face of the earth and the other - well it's too early to tell. Never mind, the one I was already seeing. Him too! Fell off the earth. I'm so over it. I'm exhausted with racking my brain to figure it all out. So I've decided that I don't care. I mean I do. I say I don't want a relationship and it's true for deeper reasons I don't. One, I don't want to committ myself to having to give that much right now. I'm still trying to recover from the last bad relationship. Two, I'm trying to focus on myself. Now I know that sounds selfish - but I've been in monogamous relationships that lasted a long time and ended badly. Three, my kids and family are so important to me. And frankly (this may sound slightly bitter) I haven't met a guy that's willing to put in the same kind of committment. Yes I have met guys with potential. But it's always the same thing...I'm just out of a relationship so I don't want one right now. Yes I know I'm contradicting myself. I'd just like to meet a guy that is actually interested in me. Not just sex. I'll know when I meet him. It's all about timing, right?