Get a grip

Know anyone that just gets you? Someone that truly identifies with you they grasp your thought process so much it's like osmosis? They get your inside jokes with no explanation. They appreciate your twisted sense of humor. They easily pick up on your innuendo and effortlessly play along. Too bad they're taken. Too bad timing is off. Seriously, it can be painful yet refreshing when they are around or in your thoughts.

Just don't get it...

Yeah, so it's been a while - but I was lacking motivation. Not that I'm all that motivated now. I just don't get men. I've met at least 2 guys now, both seemed interested. But oddly enough, one has dropped off the face of the earth and the other - well it's too early to tell. Never mind, the one I was already seeing. Him too! Fell off the earth. I'm so over it. I'm exhausted with racking my brain to figure it all out. So I've decided that I don't care. I mean I do. I say I don't want a relationship and it's true for deeper reasons I don't. One, I don't want to committ myself to having to give that much right now. I'm still trying to recover from the last bad relationship. Two, I'm trying to focus on myself. Now I know that sounds selfish - but I've been in monogamous relationships that lasted a long time and ended badly. Three, my kids and family are so important to me. And frankly (this may sound slightly bitter) I haven't met a guy that's willing to put in the same kind of committment. Yes I have met guys with potential. But it's always the same thing...I'm just out of a relationship so I don't want one right now. Yes I know I'm contradicting myself. I'd just like to meet a guy that is actually interested in me. Not just sex. I'll know when I meet him. It's all about timing, right?

Ladies...take care

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve - than HELL no,
You can't be friends',
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don't stay because you think it will get better'
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things were not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends, separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything* He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are....
Even if he has more education or a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...
Compromise is a two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...
There is NOTHING cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals.
Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.*
Keep him in your radar, but get to know others.
Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful:
Dr Phil You should know that:
You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you,
He'll miss out on a good thing, especially if he was attracted to you in the 1st place.
Just know that he's not the only one,
They're all watching you, so you have choices.
Make the right one.
Ladies take care of your own hearts...
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...
You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and help another woman prepare.

Suck it up

Search the world over and you will always find that guy that draws females like shit draws flies. And he can come off super suave and charismatic. Putting everything out there. You know - don't go falling in love with me. I'm seeing other women, we aren't dating, I'm just out of a bad relatioinship, I dont want to be in a new one.

Silly girl you start to care about the guy, because you've actually become a victim of your own naivety. You believe that the way you feel when you're with him is somehow the way he feels about you. Something happens. He trips up. Says something or does something and instinct calls it out. You ask a question fully on faith that no matter how ridiculous the question or how bad the answer could hurt - he's going to tell the truth. It's what you agreed to...but he doesn't. And as time goes by you stumble upon truths he continues to omit and lies you shouldn't have to question.

What the...you know this can't be happening. Despite the lack of exclusivity you both set boundaries. In an open relationship with very little drawn in the sand what's the point of lying??

So you can't help but wonder and think and dig deep within yourself, ask friends for insight or advice, perhaps a devil's advocate. Some say run, others say - he likes you, some say he's gay, and still others think he's testing you. Some say he's been hurt, can't trust women and doesn't know how to stop bein the player. Give it time. I say what do you want? Why are you waiting on this guy? Sure it matters because you care. But you should come first.

Stop obsessing. Go out. Have fun. If it doesnt feel right, move on. If you think there's something there - see where it goes. Otherwie, stop whining and savor life.

One or Two

I have been struggling with my thoughts and how to put them into words lately. SO I haven't been as diligent in writing as I should.

I made a decision or two that are out of character. Well - the jury is still out. On one hand, the one guy - I like and have developed feelings and we have a nice time, but it seems to be growing stagnant. Then there's this other guy that's taken an interest, he's peaked my curiosity.

Dilemma. Confusion.

Two took me out and we had a blast. I do enjoy going out, meeting new people and tasting and experiencing life the way it's meant to be - no hold barred.

Now, one is looking to hook up. Two is anxious to hook up. But two's offer is more inviting. I have been seeing one for much longer and there is a bond, though how deep is anyone's guess. One has secrets. And here I thought he'd be the honest guy. Two has secrets, but may be more willing to reveal himself as he's already expressed an interest in a potential relationship. He's also invited me to Miami. And to Bern's.

Wouldnt it be nice for one to step up his game, play like he did in the beginning, maybe he's bored? Two has promise and is giving one a run for his money. One doesn't know about two, and two has vague details on one. Though it was one's idea from get-go to date others. But one hasn't asked. Funny thing - I wonder if one cares?!

SO I'm dating two guys. Yes - most definitely out of character. What to do, what to do??