I’ve sat too long 

Lost in the illusion of a life I was supposed to be living 

I got lost along the way

Tripping on pebbles scattered amongst paths not paved for me

Where did she go

I say, staring at an image in the mirror, I no longer recognize is my own

I’ve walked through fires and burned differently by the light of the those flames

Trusting far too many that didn’t worship and bathe in the cinders of those ashes

I’ve made my mark and danced on the graves of loves and people I once called lovers and friends 

Touching fingertips and lips with warmth leaving behind passion like glitter bombs and confetti strewn across oceans 

Crashing in waves upon damp sands, sprinkled with the footprints of terrifying things that slither and crawl masked under the moon’s glow

Like tears falling from a cursed statue 

Moments of empty and hollow cries that scream in graveyards once called love

Pennies for the death guiding my ferry to lands of ghosts that haunt me still

Wandering mornings not meant for me and days lost on me

How did I get here 

and why were these my choices

I could’ve chosen easy

I could’ve chosen well

Still I lift my glass to choices I’ve made, and too easily called hell

A kaleidoscope of memories filtered with laughter and distraught 

The pain would take over

and I’d lose myself again

Falling farther and further in someone else’s skin

When the music no longer comforts

the pain walled deep within

It’s time to stop watching 

and let time begin revealing

who that little girl was 

left staring at the moon

Wondering what great adventures

life has yet to hold

I want to stop all this dying 

With just moments in between 

And fill my air with laughter 

and love for everything 

The longing to live burns brighter 

than the eternal thought of dying

Today is filled with emotion for choices not yet made

and at least I am still trying 

To live the life that I have made