Thursday, June 19, 2025

There are times when I stayed and I should have left. And there are times when I should have stayed, and still I left. There are times I over communicated all my feelings. There are times when I didn’t know how to communicate any of my feelings. There were times I was available to talk and listen, but I didn’t. There were times I wasn’t available to talk and listen, and yet I did. There were times I stayed up all night waiting to hear from someone and never did. And there were times when I should’ve stayed awake for someone to be there to listen, and I went to bed instead. 
Nobody is perfect. We all make choices that weren’t what the other person expected. Maybe we should stop living in our own prisons of expectations. Our actions and inactions have consequences. Maybe we can just be grateful for what we have, in the moment that we have it.

Saturday, May 24, 2025

The words are there, but I can’t quiet my mind long enough to let one solitary thought step forward. I just keep holding my pen there, hoping the words find me, hoping the ink bleeds onto the paper, and it won’t be a Rorschach test or a Jackson Pollock painting again. 


Monday, May 12, 2025

Surrender

It’s so easy to surrender, 
to the moon.
To obediently 
pull my hair to the side,
lower my head, and 
plunge into the push and pull 
of magnetic energy; 
the heat 
of that luscious glowing kiss 
on my shoulders, 
goosebumps 
exposed
poised
in anticipation
Of,

Feeling the weight of all of my emotions,
Feeling the weight of all of my moon.
Black Lilith moon in Scorpio. 
The sting is dark, desirous and beautiful,
the Flower moon opens love up to a
karmic cleansing soul recognition.

I smile because my moon unfailingly shines on me and fills me with his presence and love. It’s so easy to surrender to my moon.

Friday, April 18, 2025

Can we hurry up and get to the part where I don’t have to be a strong independent woman anymore. I really just want to be taken care of, I want to be soft and feminine and adored. 

I think that is a wonderful birthday wish. 

Tuesday, April 15, 2025

Sometimes I think about it, it’s a smell or food or a song that comes on. The ache in my heart is bittersweet. My throat closes up and tears well in my eyes and all I can do is smile and laugh. Because I love love love being your mom. 


I don’t recall exactly when, but at some point you each got too heavy for me to carry; too grown, too independent. I mean, I knew I was raising you to be able to handle life on your own. I just didn’t realize that also meant you weren’t going to climb in my lap or come crying to me when you got hurt, you got too big to ask me to kiss your boo-boo’s and make it all better. 


I knew one day you’d take care of yourself or maybe even a child or your own. And I am so unbelievably proud of the incredible souls that each of you have become and are still becoming. But I never thought the time would go by so quickly. I find myself missing those moments of you needing me. I miss carrying you and holding you and comforting you. But mostly I wish I could still kiss your boo-boos, tell you everything will be alright and make all the pain and sadness and sorrow go away and just make you smile. 

Saturday, March 29, 2025

I was lost in a fever dream last night 

He kept growling something so sweetly in my ear

what was it, what you said, I beg you to do it again..



A wish for him to want to look at me and forever be thinking about ways of making me orgasm.

There are times when I stayed and I should have left. And there are times when I should have stayed, and still I left. There are times I ove...